Hey everyone!
As Tuesday is the one year anniversary since my Grandad died, I though I'd tell you how I've dealt with his death and that you're not alone with what you will go through when a loved one passes away.
Me and my Grandad weren't incredibly close, but I did love spending time with him. For my Grandad, he had had a problem with his breathing for years, but it got gradually worse over time. In the few months before he died he had to have an oxygen tank which he would have to use when he felt particularly short of breath. The last time I saw him before he died was on New Years Day so I missed out on the last month of his life. What makes it worse is that I could have gone to see him the day before he died but didn't. Guilt has bitten away at me ever since then and will continue to do so forevermore.
When I found out that my Grandad had died, I cried. So much. I can remember that day so vividly. It was a school day and I can remember in the last lesson of the day trying to attract the attention of my crush, not knowing that my Grandad had died. Then I remember going home and when my Mum got back she told me about my Grandad (he's my Dad's Dad). I've always found that when it comes to upsetting things, I've always managed to hold everything in and let it all out when I'm alone. But this wasn't the case. I cried so much in front of my Mum and brothers, despite trying to keep everything in for my little brother who was two at the time.
I also remember the night that he died. I remember going to bed and I was shutting my curtains. I'm pretty sure it was a clear night but there was only one star, that I could see, in the sky. It was shining really brightly and was directly outside my window. I decided right then that that star was my Grandad. I don't really believe in heaven and hell, but I do like to believe that we go somewhere when we die. That we don't just die and then that's it.
I was offered the day off school the next day to try and get over my Grandad's death. But instead I decided to go. This was because I'd rather go somewhere where no one knows what's happened instead of staying at home and crying all day. This is another point, I didn't tell any of my friends. I knew that two would know because they live quite close to me and both our families know each other really well so they were making sure I was alright throughout the day indirectly, not letting on that they knew what had happened, even though I knew they knew.
Please don't do what I did. It's okay to cry. You're aloud to grieve. You're aloud time to yourself to try and make sense of what's happened. If you hold on your emotions, they can only stay in there for so long until they all come flooding out at once. Trying to hold your emotions in at school, well anywhere really, is really difficult. I found that and it took all the courage and strength in the world to try not to cry.
At first, just the little things people do may annoy you. For example, I went to my Gran's less than a week after my Grandad had died and my Uncle was sat in my Grandad's chair. I know what you're thinking, 'what's so special about that chair?' Well, I see it as that was the main place my Grandad would sit and no one else would sit there. So to walk in to my Gran's for the first time since his death, I just felt like my Grandad had just been forgotten about and that I was the only one that could remember.
One thing I regret about my Grandad's passing was never opening up to anyone about how I really felt. People would ask me if I was alright and I'd say I was but honestly, I wasn't. And I'm still not alright now. I'm sitting here crying about everything whilst writing this. Because, to be honest, you never fully get over something like this. One day you might say 'I'm finally over it. I feel like myself' but as soon as something is brought up, you get upset and realise that you're not over it. But that's okay because nobody else is over it either, even if they seem to be.
Death affects people in many different ways so you're not necessarily going to be feeling the same way about it as someone else. However, you will both feel very emotional about it, even though only one of you will show it and the other won't.
During a loved ones death, please remember that it's okay to cry and its okay to show you're emotions. Even if you're like me and like to seem strong on the outside, you are aloud to cry. And don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
If you have any tips on how to deal with death then please comment below. And if you've recently losses someone, don't be afraid to open up about it to someone. If you don't want it to be with someone you know, then please feel free to talk to me about it. All of my contact details are in the tab above.
Please don't be afraid to open up to someone and remember you can cry. It may seem like you're never going to get over it, but trust me, everything's going to be okay in the end.
Love Beth xx
Saturday 30 January 2016
Saturday 23 January 2016
Dealing with Fake People
Hey everyone!
Fake people seem to be a part of life. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, you will end up having to deal with fakes at various times in your life. In fact, it seems that normal to come across a fake person that we never look twice.
But what do fake people bring into our lives exactly?
The feeling of not being good enough enough (read my last post on this). They make you feel worthless at the end. At the start, they promise you the world. Or they do something simple such as being nice to you. And you think you've found a genuine friend. Or a genuine person. But they're not. They're as fake as my fake nails (and that's very fake).
The majority of fake people in this world is girls. If you don't agree with me then I understand but all I ask of you is to think really hard about this. How many girls in this world do you know that act fake? For me, it's a lot.
As I'm a girl, I reckon that the reason why the majority of fake people is girls is because we like to be nice to each other face-to-face. I'm not saying we're all like this because you can occasionally find at least one girl who is 100% genuine. However, even if someone is genuine with 99% of the people they know, they'll probably act fake to the other 1%. That may be because they don't like them but don't want to admit it. Or it may be another reason. But the most likely reason is because they don't like them.
So how exactly should we deal with fake people?
The best way to deal with them is to ignore them. I know this may seem obvious but if you ignore someone then they're more likely to leave you alone than if you carry on talking to them. They're like an annoying younger brother or sister. They pester you for attention but when you don't give it to them they soon get bored and go and annoy someone else. That's pretty much what fake people are like. Okay, so even if you do ignore them they might still talk about you behind your back but it won't be anywhere near as much, and hopefully not at all.
One thing important to remember is to never stoop down to their level. That's the worst place you could possibly go. And believe me, you don't want to go there. So just remember to stay true to yourself and stay real, not fake, for your sake and also for other people's.
I don't know how useful this post has been but I know we all have to deal with fake people at one point or another through life so I thought I'd post it. And if you have your own tips on how to deal with these kind of people, please feel free to comment them below or tweet and mention me on Twitter (@teenagelifebeth). Who knows, we could all end up helping each other!
Love Beth xx
Fake people seem to be a part of life. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, you will end up having to deal with fakes at various times in your life. In fact, it seems that normal to come across a fake person that we never look twice.
But what do fake people bring into our lives exactly?
The feeling of not being good enough enough (read my last post on this). They make you feel worthless at the end. At the start, they promise you the world. Or they do something simple such as being nice to you. And you think you've found a genuine friend. Or a genuine person. But they're not. They're as fake as my fake nails (and that's very fake).
The majority of fake people in this world is girls. If you don't agree with me then I understand but all I ask of you is to think really hard about this. How many girls in this world do you know that act fake? For me, it's a lot.
As I'm a girl, I reckon that the reason why the majority of fake people is girls is because we like to be nice to each other face-to-face. I'm not saying we're all like this because you can occasionally find at least one girl who is 100% genuine. However, even if someone is genuine with 99% of the people they know, they'll probably act fake to the other 1%. That may be because they don't like them but don't want to admit it. Or it may be another reason. But the most likely reason is because they don't like them.
So how exactly should we deal with fake people?
The best way to deal with them is to ignore them. I know this may seem obvious but if you ignore someone then they're more likely to leave you alone than if you carry on talking to them. They're like an annoying younger brother or sister. They pester you for attention but when you don't give it to them they soon get bored and go and annoy someone else. That's pretty much what fake people are like. Okay, so even if you do ignore them they might still talk about you behind your back but it won't be anywhere near as much, and hopefully not at all.
One thing important to remember is to never stoop down to their level. That's the worst place you could possibly go. And believe me, you don't want to go there. So just remember to stay true to yourself and stay real, not fake, for your sake and also for other people's.
I don't know how useful this post has been but I know we all have to deal with fake people at one point or another through life so I thought I'd post it. And if you have your own tips on how to deal with these kind of people, please feel free to comment them below or tweet and mention me on Twitter (@teenagelifebeth). Who knows, we could all end up helping each other!
Love Beth xx
Saturday 9 January 2016
Not Feeling Good Enough
Hey everyone!
Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Whether or not it's for one person or lots of people, I can assure you now that you are good enough. They just haven't realised it. Yet.
It's an awful feeling, that you're not good enough. I hate it. That one person who when it's just the two of you, they're fine with you. But when they have the choice between you and someone else, they choose the other person. I've had lots of experience with this. And believe me, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I get it all the time. At school and when I go to netball practice. And I hate it. Someone choosing practically everyone else over you. Like sometimes, if I'm the only person there, that person will talk to me but if some others come along they'll start talking to them and leave me out of it. It's almost as if I've suddenly become invisible. Like, 'hello, I am still here'!
It is difficult. And at times I think of giving up. Of leaving everyone behind. But then I remember that I'm not a quitter and that I shouldn't let what people think stop me from living my life the way I want to. And you shouldn't let anyone stop you from doing this either.
If you remember, I did a post a while back on 'Loneliness'. Not feeling good enough is kind of linked to that. Sometimes, you feel lonely because you feel that you're not good enough. And other times you feel not good enough because you're lonely. I think that loneliness is a key factor to not feeling good enough.
Remember, if you don't feel good enough or lonely or anything else, please don't be afraid to contact me. You can DM me on Twitter (@teenagelifebeth) or you can email me (teenagelifebeth@gmail.com). I won't judge you and what you tell me will be kept a secret from everyone else. I only want to help you try to live your life to the full and talking helps. That's why I created this blog as a way for all of you (and me) to help each other with our troubles and worries.
Anytime you want to talk I'll listen so please don't be afraid to contact me.
Love Beth xx
Do you ever feel like you're not good enough? Whether or not it's for one person or lots of people, I can assure you now that you are good enough. They just haven't realised it. Yet.
It's an awful feeling, that you're not good enough. I hate it. That one person who when it's just the two of you, they're fine with you. But when they have the choice between you and someone else, they choose the other person. I've had lots of experience with this. And believe me, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I get it all the time. At school and when I go to netball practice. And I hate it. Someone choosing practically everyone else over you. Like sometimes, if I'm the only person there, that person will talk to me but if some others come along they'll start talking to them and leave me out of it. It's almost as if I've suddenly become invisible. Like, 'hello, I am still here'!
It is difficult. And at times I think of giving up. Of leaving everyone behind. But then I remember that I'm not a quitter and that I shouldn't let what people think stop me from living my life the way I want to. And you shouldn't let anyone stop you from doing this either.
If you remember, I did a post a while back on 'Loneliness'. Not feeling good enough is kind of linked to that. Sometimes, you feel lonely because you feel that you're not good enough. And other times you feel not good enough because you're lonely. I think that loneliness is a key factor to not feeling good enough.
Remember, if you don't feel good enough or lonely or anything else, please don't be afraid to contact me. You can DM me on Twitter (@teenagelifebeth) or you can email me (teenagelifebeth@gmail.com). I won't judge you and what you tell me will be kept a secret from everyone else. I only want to help you try to live your life to the full and talking helps. That's why I created this blog as a way for all of you (and me) to help each other with our troubles and worries.
Anytime you want to talk I'll listen so please don't be afraid to contact me.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 3 January 2016
The Awkwardness of Being Awkward
Hey everyone!
I'm really sorry I haven't posted in AGES but that can't be helped due to the non-existent internet I've had for the past three weeks. Just blame the company I'm with because they're supposed to sort it out within a couple of days.
Anyway, I hope you had a really good Christmas and that your new year is up to a really good start. I can't believe it's 2016 already, can you?
So, back to the subject of 'the awkwardness of being awkward'. It is me every single second of every single day. There's pretty much not been a day gone past when I haven't felt awkward once. Even the word awkward looks awkward.
Sometimes, in these awkward situations, I can recover really well from them. Other times I end up making this awkward situation even more awkward than it was in the first place.
I think that an awkward situaion that affects most of us is when you and another person are walking in different directions but towards each other and you both bump into each other and the only way around it is if one of you moves to one side. Only you both end up moving the same way so then one of you has to move back only you both do that as well. This can carry on for a while until one of you stops and the other person moves. And for some reason while this is going on, neither of you talk to one another. For example you wouldn't say something like "I'll go this way and you'll go that way" because you don't want to appear bossy or the fact that you don't know the other person puts you off from talking. This is kind of like an unspoken rule among most Brits I find. It's pretty much that unless something has happened then you don't talk to each other. Like, if you were sat at the bar alone and another person was sat there also alone you wouldn't just randomly start conversation. You'd just drink your drink and look through your phone to try and look busy. Or if you know someone who's working behind the bar you'd talk to them.
Nobody knows why we're awkward. As I explained above, Brits are probably the most awkward people on the planet. We don't know why that is but we just are. But it's kind of like we enjoy being awkward because none of us do anything to try and stop ourselves from being awkward. But in these situations when we do try and stop ourselves, we end up making the situation even more awkward than it already was.
I am an example of an awkward Brit. I could tell you all of the times of me being awkward but there's way too many. Probably one of the most awkward was when I was in year 7 and the example I used above about bumping into someone and you both keep on moving the same way, happened between me and a year 11. I really wanted to say that I'll go this way and you go that way but I was too timid. It ended up in us somehow finding a solution to it but he stormed off really p***ed off and I was just there like 'woah, calm down!'
If you're like me and often get into these awkward situations I'd really like it if you would comment below the most awkward situation you've ever been in.
Thank you so much for reading.
Love Beth xx
I'm really sorry I haven't posted in AGES but that can't be helped due to the non-existent internet I've had for the past three weeks. Just blame the company I'm with because they're supposed to sort it out within a couple of days.
Anyway, I hope you had a really good Christmas and that your new year is up to a really good start. I can't believe it's 2016 already, can you?
So, back to the subject of 'the awkwardness of being awkward'. It is me every single second of every single day. There's pretty much not been a day gone past when I haven't felt awkward once. Even the word awkward looks awkward.
Sometimes, in these awkward situations, I can recover really well from them. Other times I end up making this awkward situation even more awkward than it was in the first place.
I think that an awkward situaion that affects most of us is when you and another person are walking in different directions but towards each other and you both bump into each other and the only way around it is if one of you moves to one side. Only you both end up moving the same way so then one of you has to move back only you both do that as well. This can carry on for a while until one of you stops and the other person moves. And for some reason while this is going on, neither of you talk to one another. For example you wouldn't say something like "I'll go this way and you'll go that way" because you don't want to appear bossy or the fact that you don't know the other person puts you off from talking. This is kind of like an unspoken rule among most Brits I find. It's pretty much that unless something has happened then you don't talk to each other. Like, if you were sat at the bar alone and another person was sat there also alone you wouldn't just randomly start conversation. You'd just drink your drink and look through your phone to try and look busy. Or if you know someone who's working behind the bar you'd talk to them.
Nobody knows why we're awkward. As I explained above, Brits are probably the most awkward people on the planet. We don't know why that is but we just are. But it's kind of like we enjoy being awkward because none of us do anything to try and stop ourselves from being awkward. But in these situations when we do try and stop ourselves, we end up making the situation even more awkward than it already was.
I am an example of an awkward Brit. I could tell you all of the times of me being awkward but there's way too many. Probably one of the most awkward was when I was in year 7 and the example I used above about bumping into someone and you both keep on moving the same way, happened between me and a year 11. I really wanted to say that I'll go this way and you go that way but I was too timid. It ended up in us somehow finding a solution to it but he stormed off really p***ed off and I was just there like 'woah, calm down!'
If you're like me and often get into these awkward situations I'd really like it if you would comment below the most awkward situation you've ever been in.
Thank you so much for reading.
Love Beth xx
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