Basically, a few months ago this boy got a girlfriend. We'd been talking to each other for a couple of months at this stage but I really liked him. Okay so he might not have known that I liked him and I'm guessing he didn't like me (in that way) back, which is probably why he got a girlfriend. Only he never actually told me he had a girlfriend and it was my friend who told me a couple of weeks after it happened. I'd spent the majority of those two weeks texting or snapchatting him first and I have to admit, there was something weird about it. He never really seemed interested in talking to me and would take hours (and in one case days) to reply.
I found out that he had a girlfriend when I was on DofE and was pretty angry about it. I couldn't take my phone with me on DofE so I had no way of asking him about it so I guess it's kind of lucky in a way that I had a few days to calm down about it before talking to him. When I got home a few days later I messaged him about it and he didn't reply straight away. In fact he didn't reply at all! All I'd sent him was 'hey, how come you never told me you have a girlfriend?' because I guess I just wanted an explanation and didn't really want to stay angry at him. As soon as I saw that he'd seen my message, I just felt like he'd turned into a stranger. I'm also not afraid to admit that I cried about it because he meant so much to me and, in some ways, it kind of felt like I'd lost him; even though he was never mine to lose.
About a month later he broke up with this girl (I don't exactly know why) and started talking to me again. When I first saw that he text me I was kind of annoyed that he thought he could come straight back to me after what had happened and was going to just ignore him completely. However, that lasted about ten minutes. I replied to him and we've been talking a bit ever since then. I guess I still like him but there are still things about him that I find myself getting annoyed at. I'm not entirely sure why I still talk to him as much as I do and why I find myself missing him constantly. I guess it's just how he makes me feel when he talks to me and how happy I am when he texts me or calls me.
What I want to tell you today is that you shouldn't settle for second best. I don't know how many girls this boy messages and if he sees them all as just friends or something more. It doesn't matter how happy he makes me feel, there's always this voice in the back of my mind saying that if he chose a girl over me once and when that didn't work out he came running back to me, then he's going to do it again.
I'm stupid enough to let him back into my life without talking to him about how I really felt with this whole thing. You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't let anyone walk all over you. You should make him know his place and make him understand how you felt. But you should never feel okay with being second best. You should never lie awake at night wondering why he chose her over you. You should always be put first. And if he can't do that, then find someone who will. You deserve the best because you're better than he'll ever be. If he can't put you first then he's pretty stupid.
If you ever want to talk to someone about your relationship troubles (not that I'm any good at them) or anything else for that matter, then please feel free to talk to me. I promise that I won't judge you and I'll try to give you the best advice possible for you. And if you're not happy with that advice then you don't have to use it; I don't mind. All of my contact details are in the tab at the top of the page.
Remember: you should always come first.
Love Beth xx
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