Taking Time Out For Yourself

We all want to be that person that has the best life, has loads of friends, is constantly going out and having a good time, and never seems to be on their own or lonely. This seems great and all but is this really the best way for us all to live our lives?

I mean, being constantly surrounded by our friends and 'living our best life' and being able to show off about this on social media seems amazing, but I feel that sometimes these people might be so focused on constantly surrounding themselves with their friends that they don't take enough time out for themselves to just relax and to focus on their mental health. Going out all/most of the time is amazing, it's fun, and it's enjoyable, but it's not something that we need to be doing most days, or even every weekend. I guess that people don't want to stay in and take a bit of time for themselves and want to be seen by others as the sort of person who isn't boring and likes to go out and live a little (or a lot).

But staying in is just as important as going out. Because if we don't take the time to look after ourselves, then is going out all of the time the best thing for our mental health? I mean let's face it, mental health and mental illness is real and because, even in 2018, it is still deemed almost shameful if you suffer badly when it comes to mental health and some people don't want to make it known to others that they have a mental health problem. But this can all be helped by staying in every once in a while and looking after number one.

I have mentioned it in previous posts but I do suffer from social anxiety and one of the things that comes with this is that I tend to find myself saying no more times than I say yes to an invitation to go out with my friends. I wish that I could stop this because I want to make memories and I want to live my life but I constantly feel like I am being held down by something and that it is much easier for me to say no to something and stay in the comfort of my own home, than say yes and end up somewhere or in a situation that I'm not particularly familiar with and end up panicking to the point where I wished that I had stayed in instead. But after being constantly told or being given the impression of this not being a normal way for me to live my life, I am forever feeling guilty in some ways for not going out and enjoying myself and feel that I've let people down because of it. I also feel almost under pressure to go out, even when  I'm having my doubts about it and know that it wouldn't be the best thing for me to go out that day/night, so that I can be with my friends and so that they don't start asking questions about why I haven't gone out with them and why I chose to stay in instead. This has been even more of an occurrence recently as I turned eighteen in March and so I feel like I should be going out to the pub or going clubbing every Friday/Saturday night; however I've barely been out since turning eighteen.

Of course it's not just a matter of having to take time out for yourself because you're constantly going out with friends. It could also be that you spend the majority of your time working and find that you have very little time to take a bit of time out to relax and to give yourself a bit of love. Taking time out is important because it can help to repair your mental health if you are starting to feel yourself becoming more and more stressed as time goes on. It can just be something as simple as having a night in in front of the TV and catching up on some of your favourite TV shows that you might have missed a few episodes of because you were busy doing something else. You could even take a whole day out to go on a spa day; which will give you plenty of time to relax, rejuvenate, and feel that sense of wellness that you might not have been feeling recently.

Taking time out for yourself is important because if you put too much stress and pressure on yourself, then this can eventually mount up into bigger issues and might cause you to lash out at someone or something unexpectedly or push people away because you know that you need your alone time but you don't know how to get it. This can all be avoided by taking a bit of time to just relax, stay at home and watch a couple of films to try and get your mental health in check.

I'm not saying that you have to stay in most nights, but as and when you need it you should just take a little bit of time to make sure that you're alright. Even if you have already made plans with your friends, it is okay to cancel on them if, at the last minute, you decide that you're just really not up to going out and being in a room full of random people. And if they don't understand your decision to do this and make you feel pressured into still going out then don't go out just to please them. Make sure that you are comfortable with what is going on and the situation that you may be putting yourself into. If you're unsure of whether it would be the right thing for you to go out but you don't want to feel like you're letting others down, then ask yourself this: would you rather stay at home where you can remain calm, or go out and end up getting into a panic and then not enjoy your night? Even if you do decide to go out but once you get there you find that you're not enjoying yourself and that it's all getting a bit too much for you, it's okay if you decide to leave and go home early. If anyone you're with judges you for doing this then maybe you shouldn't be friends with them because no one should have to feel that they have to be in a situation that they feel completely uncomfortable in. Or if you don't leave your house for a number of days or see anyone for a certain amount of time because you need to focus more on your mental health then this is also a completely acceptable thing to do.

If there's anything that you take from this post, I would like it to be that you should never feel pressured into being in any situation that you don't feel comfortable in. I have been in this situation myself one too many times and it meant that I couldn't enjoy my night/time because of it. But on a few occassions where I have said no to going out somewhere because I either didn't feel completely comfortable with the situation I was going to be in or felt in a bad place in terms of my mental health, even though I didn't like the fact that, to an extent, I felt like I was missing out on making memories with people, it was much more of a comfort to me knowing that I wasn't putting myself in a situation where it was going to result in panic and wanting to leave but feeling like it would be too much of an embarrassment to do that.

So, still ensure that you do go out and enjoy yourself, but at the same time don't push yourself too far or put yourself in a situation that you're uncomfortable in or whilst your mental health isn't in the best of places.

Love Beth xx