Even though I am 18, I have found that I more often than not prefer staying at home to going out. I guess that this is partly due to me having social anxiety as I tend to find it quite awkward being around a load of people and tend to prefer being in my comfort zone (lying in my bed, alone, watching Netflix - it's a bit sad to be honest) instead of being out somewhere getting really drunk and putting my own safety in danger. Obviously nothing seriously bad has ever happened to me whilst I've been out (apart from a few nights of me violently throwing up everywhere) but, and I don't know what it is, I just really dislike going out.
I guess this is because I am used to being in an environment where the night life is fairly non-existent and being one of the oldest in my friendship group; meaning that none of my friends were old enough to go out drinking with me when I turned eighteen. However, now that all of my friends are eighteen and I'm at university in a city that has pretty good night life, you would have thought that I would have taken the most of this opportunity and gone out more. However, during fresher's week I only went out three, maybe four, times, whereas other people were going out every single night. Part of this is due to me going out one night and not feeling well enough to go out the next. Another part of it is due to the fresher's event that was on not really appealing to me. The final part of it is due to me preferring to stay in my comfort zone of being in my room with nutella and Netflix. However each night I've stayed in I've always wished I could be out with my friends having fun, but by the time I start feeling like I should be going out they've all either left or are in the process of leaving and there would be no chance that I would be able to get ready in time so just end up staying in.
I love going out. I enjoy the whole process of knowing that I'm going out that night and getting ready and finding the perfect thing to wear. I enjoy spending time with my friends and the games that we play at pre-drinks. I enjoy the fact that you can drink as much as you possibly can at pre's and not have to spend a penny while you're out - making for a really cheap night out. I enjoy going out for some food afterwards, slightly to try and soak up all the alcohol but mostly because we're all STARVING. I enjoy getting home between three and five in the morning and just being able to sleep in for the rest of the day and do absolutely nothing (unless I have a 9am the next morning, in which case going out the night before is definitely a bad idea and a past experience has proved that).
However, I also love staying at home. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to work out what time I have to start getting ready so that I'm ready in time for us all to go out. I enjoy being able to do my own thing and not having to worry about other's wanting to go and do something else. I enjoy being able to get into my pyjamas, get into bed and watch something on TV, whether it's one of my favourite shows, a boxset or a movie. I enjoy not having to worry that I'm going to end up drinking way more than I should and come home and throw up everywhere. I enjoy not having that feeling of my feet aching from dancing all night and hurting for the next few days after my night out.
Basically I love BOTH going on nights out and having nights in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or the other. I think that some people might pressure their friend(s) or make them feel bad about not wanting to go on nights out all the time (because believe me, I've been there) and this really shouldn't be made into such a big issue. If you are friends with someone who would rather stay in than go on a night out with you, respect their wishes and let them do whatever is best for them. They just might not fancy it, not have the money or there might be some sort of other reason why they don't want to go that they don't want to tell you about so the best thing that you can do is to let them make their own decision and not try and force them into doing anything that they don't want to do. Luckily for me I am not one of those people who feels like they have to go on nights out with their friends because they feel forced into it (even though they sometimes try and do that) and if I really don't feel up to going out for whatever reason then I'll just stay in instead. However I know other people who aren't like that and feel like they do have to go out even when they really don't want to just to try and please their friends.
If I'm being completely honest, I just don't understand why there is this big deal about it being weird if a young person doesn't enjoy going on nights out. I just don't understand why there is such a big deal about it being weird if there is anyone my age (18) or slightly older who doesn't enjoy, or go on that many, nights out because I really want to see it as a completely normal thing, however can't due to how society views it. So all-in-all, I think that it needs to stop being the 'norm' for young people to be out every Friday and Saturday night (and the other nights of the week if you're at university) and it needs to start being seen as acceptable for young people to want to stay in and rarely (if at all) go on a night out for whatever the reason may be.
So in answer to my question 'is it okay to prefer staying at home to going out?', the answer is yes. I don't see why there should be any reason for it to be seen as not okay for young people (well, anyone really) to stay at home instead of being out like everyone else. And if you have a problem with one (or more) of your friends preferring to stay at home instead of going on a night out with you and try and force them to change their mind, then maybe you should just stop, respect their wishes, and let them do whatever they want to do.
Love Beth xx
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