Girls, (and probably boys as well) we have all at some point in our lives come across someone who we really liked and thought that they felt the same way about us as well. At the time it seemed as though we were the only person who they wanted to be with (as that was how we felt) and we found ourselves falling in love. Except the only thing preventing this from happening was the fact that it was only us who felt like that and it turns out that they were interested in a lot of other people, and we were at the bottom of their list when it came to choosing someone to be their partner.
This is how I felt a couple of years ago by some boy who was in my year at school. He was the first person that I can ever really remember properly liking and the fact that he made it out that he liked me back made me feel like no one could ever stop me and that at one point or another our 'talking' would turn into something more. Except he never thought like that and when it got to a point where I thought he might actually ask me to be his girlfriend, it turned out that he had been 'talking' with a load of other girls and had just asked out some other girl.
I wanted to talk about this today because I believe that leading someone on and messing with their feelings is something that should never be done and if you are one of those people who does that then I specifically want you to carry on and read the rest of this post so that you can get some sort of understanding of how it makes those who you lead on feel; because it is a really horrible feeling to feel as led on as I did and I don't want anyone else to feel anything like I did because it is truly one of the worst feelings that you could ever possibly feel. I also want anyone who has ever been led on (or just anyone in general really) to carry on reading this post so that you know that you are not alone in what you have gone/are going through.
It started in year 11. We both took one of the same GCSE classes in that year and our paths had never crossed before that time and if I'm honest I really liked him from the moment I met him. We just seemed to click straight away and he made me feel a way that no one has ever made me feel before.
He used to have these cute little nicknames that he used to call me (none of which will be put on here for privacy and confidentiality reasons) and that was one of the things that made me feel like I was actually a special person in his life.
At first we could definitely have only ever been considered as being friends because we only ever really spoke either in lesson or whenever we saw one another around school and didn't ever really speak outside of that environment or in a way that could be made out as us being something more than friends to one another. But I can remember that first day when we did start talking to each other outside of school and remember it almost as if it was yesterday.
It was a Saturday. I'm a deep sleeper and tend to sleep in quite a lot and I remember being woken up to the sound of my phone going off. It was a message. From him. He asked me if we had any homework for the subject that we were both in together. I thought that this was a little odd because 1) he'd never asked me if we'd had any homework before, 2) it was a Saturday, and 3) it was reasonably early in the morning - and all of these things put together do not equal doing homework or asking me that question (unless you're really dedicated to your schoolwork which, believe me, neither of us ever were). So I just told him that I didn't think that we did, he asked me how I was and the conversation went from there. We spoke for a reasonable amount of the day about anything and everything. We didn't really speak outside of school again for one reason or another until almost a week later; after which we spoke to each other practically all day every day for around six weeks.
After this, it somehow became known around our year that we were talking to each other and we both had people telling us that we should start going out with each other. Except the thing was that we both kept ignoring what everyone was saying and just carried on like everything was normal. Whenever one of us said to the other 'oh, so-and-so said that you like me' or 'this person said we should be together', the other would somehow go around it and try to avoid saying how we really felt about the other person. I guess this can be said as being part of the problem of why we never ended up being together because we were never honest with each other about how we felt about one another. However, I never told him about how I really felt because I was scared that he wouldn't feel the same and that I would be making a fool of myself by telling him that I liked him. And I guess I now know why he never told me that he liked me - because he was too busy talking to other girls and leading all of us on without any of us realising.
What was the most annoying about this whole thing is the fact that when he did get a girlfriend when I still thought that he liked me and when I did eventually find out about it a couple of weeks later and questioned him on it, he didn't even have the audacity to explain his actions. Then a few days later he popped up to me and started talking to me normally and never even mentioned the fact that he had a girlfriend or that he was sorry about what happened and tried to talk to me like normal, almost as if we had never really stopped talking. Then when they did break up (they were together for about a month) he popped up to me again, really late at night, said that him and his girlfriend had broken up and asking if we could talk.
This became a regular occurrence. He would be talking to me, get a girlfriend, they'd break up, and then he'd come crawling back to me because he knew I'd always be there for him. I guess that that was the problem with me (and still is). He knew that no matter how many times he found someone else and wanted to be with them, if things went wrong then he could always come back to me and would find that I would always be willing to have him back. This has been going on for two years now. And will I ever change? Probably not. Why? Because I'm too forgiving and when he is talking to me he makes me feel as if I'm wanted and that he does genuinely like me and wants to be with me.
Players need to stop doing what they do. Players need to stop leading people on, making them feel like they love them (or at least like them), and then start going out with someone else and leave that person feeling like they were never good enough and that no one else will ever want to be with them. It's a really horrible feeling, kind of like I was cheated on, only obviously not as bad.
I guess that most players are guys because you're seen as a 'lad' by the amount of girls that you can get and NOT by the fact that you only get one absolutely amazing girl and stay with her because you love her. I don't like this attitude in society and think that it's a really stupid one to have. So if any guys are reading this who have more than one girl on the go at the moment (or have done in the past), please think about what you are doing to all of their feelings because it is one of the worst feelings ever to feel like you were never really wanted by someone all that much in the first place (the same applies to any girls who are players as well).
Have you got any stories of a time when someone 'played' you? Well I would love to hear them (but you obviously don't have to if you don't want to) so please feel free to either comment them down below, send me a DM on twitter, or email me. All of my contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.
I hope that this post has made anyone who has ever been involved with a player before realise that they are not alone in how they may have felt/are feeling. I also hope that anyone who is reading this who is a player has realised how their actions can make others feel and that they are now only going to talk to one person at a time and not lead anyone on.
Love Beth xx
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