Sunday 28 October 2018

Is it okay to prefer staying home to going out?

Even though I am 18, I have found that I more often than not prefer staying at home to going out. I guess that this is partly due to me having social anxiety as I tend to find it quite awkward being around a load of people and tend to prefer being in my comfort zone (lying in my bed, alone, watching Netflix - it's a bit sad to be honest) instead of being out somewhere getting really drunk and putting my own safety in danger. Obviously nothing seriously bad has ever happened to me whilst I've been out (apart from a few nights of me violently throwing up everywhere) but, and I don't know what it is, I just really dislike going out.

I guess this is because I am used to being in an environment where the night life is fairly non-existent and being one of the oldest in my friendship group; meaning that none of my friends were old enough to go out drinking with me when I turned eighteen. However, now that all of my friends are eighteen and I'm at university in a city that has pretty good night life, you would have thought that I would have taken the most of this opportunity and gone out more. However, during fresher's week I only went out three, maybe four, times, whereas other people were going out every single night. Part of this is due to me going out one night and not feeling well enough to go out the next. Another part of it is due to the fresher's event that was on not really appealing to me. The final part of it is due to me preferring to stay in my comfort zone of being in my room with nutella and Netflix. However each night I've stayed in I've always wished I could be out with my friends having fun, but by the time I start feeling like I should be going out they've all either left or are in the process of leaving and there would be no chance that I would be able to get ready in time so just end up staying in.

I love going out. I enjoy the whole process of knowing that I'm going out that night and getting ready and finding the perfect thing to wear. I enjoy spending time with my friends and the games that we play at pre-drinks. I enjoy the fact that you can drink as much as you possibly can at pre's and not have to spend a penny while you're out - making for a really cheap night out. I enjoy going out for some food afterwards, slightly to try and soak up all the alcohol but mostly because we're all STARVING. I enjoy getting home between three and five in the morning and just being able to sleep in for the rest of the day and do absolutely nothing (unless I have a 9am the next morning, in which case going out the night before is definitely a bad idea and a past experience has proved that).

However, I also love staying at home. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to work out what time I have to start getting ready so that I'm ready in time for us all to go out. I enjoy being able to do my own thing and not having to worry about other's wanting to go and do something else. I enjoy being able to get into my pyjamas, get into bed and watch something on TV, whether it's one of my favourite shows, a boxset or a movie. I enjoy not having to worry that I'm going to end up drinking way more than I should and come home and throw up everywhere. I enjoy not having that feeling of my feet aching from dancing all night and hurting for the next few days after my night out.

Basically I love BOTH going on nights out and having nights in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or the other. I think that some people might pressure their friend(s) or make them feel bad about not wanting to go on nights out all the time (because believe me, I've been there) and this really shouldn't be made into such a big issue. If you are friends with someone who would rather stay in than go on a night out with you, respect their wishes and let them do whatever is best for them. They just might not fancy it, not have the money or there might be some sort of other reason why they don't want to go that they don't want to tell you about so the best thing that you can do is to let them make their own decision and not try and force them into doing anything that they don't want to do. Luckily for me I am not one of those people who feels like they have to go on nights out with their friends because they feel forced into it (even though they sometimes try and do that) and if I really don't feel up to going out for whatever reason then I'll just stay in instead. However I know other people who aren't like that and feel like they do have to go out even when they really don't want to just to try and please their friends.

If I'm being completely honest, I just don't understand why there is this big deal about it being weird if a young person doesn't enjoy going on nights out. I just don't understand why there is such a big deal about it being weird if there is anyone my age (18) or slightly older who doesn't enjoy, or go on that many, nights out because I really want to see it as a completely normal thing, however can't due to how society views it. So all-in-all, I think that it needs to stop being the 'norm' for young people to be out every Friday and Saturday night (and the other nights of the week if you're at university) and it needs to start being seen as acceptable for young people to want to stay in and rarely (if at all) go on a night out for whatever the reason may be.

So in answer to my question 'is it okay to prefer staying at home to going out?', the answer is yes. I don't see why there should be any reason for it to be seen as not okay for young people (well, anyone really) to stay at home instead of being out like everyone else. And if you have a problem with one (or more) of your friends preferring to stay at home instead of going on a night out with you and try and force them to change their mind, then maybe you should just stop, respect their wishes, and let them do whatever they want to do.

Love Beth xx

Sunday 21 October 2018

My Top 10 Shows on Netflix

1. Safe
Safe is a gripping drama that had me hooked from the very first episode. It centres around Tom Delaney, who's teenage daughter Jenny goes missing. This case is particularly unusual as the community that they live in is completely gated and has security present 24/7. As well as this case, there are a number of different events going on, including the murder of Jenny's boyfriend - who was originally thought to have taken Jenny. During Tom's search for his daughter, with every person who he asks about his daughter's disappearance and whether or not they know anything, he manages to uncover a string of secrets that each of the residents of this community has. Be prepared for plenty of plot twists along the way as the kidnapper is not who you'd expect it to be - as well as there being a few other shocks that seem to come completely out of nowhere.

Rating - 9/10







2. GLOW
Glow was made by the creators of Orange is the New Black and is about the creation of women's wrestling (hence why GLOW stands for Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling). Set in the 1980s, the story follows Ruth Wilder, a woman who is struggling to make it as a successful actress in Los Angeles. After a fall-out with her best friend Debbie (who is also a successful, retired soap-opera star), Ruth auditions for an all-ladies wrestling show, created and directed by Sam Sylvia. After originally failing to make the cut due to her falling out with the director for over-acting, Ruth is eventually brought back, only to find that Sam has managed to persuade her ex-best friend Debbie to play a part in the show. The cast, Sam and producer 'Bash' set out to try and get the show on television in series one, and then fight for it's rights to stay in series two. An easy watch that is filled with both laughter and drama at the same time.

Rating - 8/10






3. Orange is the New Black
Orange is the New Black has been going for six seasons now and it is safe to say that it is still as funny and as gripping as it was in its first season. The first series mainly centres around Piper Chapman, however as the show progresses we start to learn more about the other characters and their past. Throughout the show there are many relationships, deaths, and more criminal activity and each episode/series always ends with you wanting more. Season five was definitely a favourite for many reasons (however I won't give away any spoilers for those of you who haven't watched it yet) and I presumed that season six would match that, and if not that it would top it. However, I found season six a struggle to watch at times and where in previous seasons it has taken me around three days to get through it, season six took me three or four weeks to watch. But don't be put off by that because it is still a good watch and comes highly recommended.

Rating - 7/10






4. Queer Eye
I'm just going to say this now... you CANNOT fault Queer Eye. It is an absolutely amazing documentary series that follows five gay guys (known as the 'fab five') around Atlanta, with their aim being to transform the lives of some very deserving people. Each of them works on different things to do with the person's life: Antoni is the food and wine expert, Tan is the fashion expert, Karamo is the culture and lifestyle expert, Bobby is the design expert, and Johnathon is the grooming expert. This show can bring tears of joy and happiness to anyone's eyes when you see how much this transformation means to the person who they have helped. A worthwhile watch that will definitely leave you wanting more episodes and is something that absolutely anyone will enjoy.

Rating - 10/10








5. Insatiable
This show is definitely one that has been hit with many controversies before it had even been released. But despite this, it is a really good show which is why it has made it onto this list. The show centres around a girl called Patty who used to be very overweight, however after an altercation with a homeless guy and being restricted to a liquid-only diet for three months, she returns to school having lost a load of weight. After meeting a guy called Bob Armstrong, Patty starts entering herself into pageants with the help of Bob - a disgraced lawyer and pageant coach. Although I can see where in some places the show is particularly offensive to certain groups of people, and despite some questionable acting, it is still an easy watch and something that I would 100% recommend that you watch.

Rating - 7/10








6. Riverdale
A very dark series, Riverdale certainly gets you gripped from the get-go. It centres around a group of high school students who are all linked into each other's lives in one way or another. They are aware of a presence, known as the 'black hood', who is causing trouble for the residents of Riverdale, and this group take it upon themselves to try and find out who is responsible for all of the mishaps that are going on. One thing I will say about this series is that at some point in series 2 I noticed that it seemed to have copied Pretty Little Liars when Betty kept on getting text messages and calls from the Black Hood (just like the girls in Pretty Little Liars did from 'A' and 'AD'). It is an incredibly cheesy show (especially when they randomly start singing - this isn't a musical) and the acting isn't exactly great, but it does have you hooked from the very first episode and leaves you wanting more (with this being a particular problem as they only release one episode a week).

Rating - 6/10






7. Pretty Little Liars
Pretty Little Liars is a TV series, where for the first few seasons it focuses on the whereabouts of teenager Alison - known as the leader of a group of five girls, including Spencer, Aria, Hannah, and Emily. An unknown person called 'A' texts them, blaming them for Alison's supposed death and the girls refused to believe that she is dead, despite her family holding a funeral for her. With there being a number of different 'A's', as well as the introduction of 'AD', we find ourselves watching the girls on their struggle to find out what really happened to their friend. This show is definitely gripping, however at times it is a struggle to watch and the show seemed to hit its peak from the end of season five to the start of season six; with the final episode also being particularly strange and a bit of a let down compared to what it could have been like.

Rating - 6.5/10







8. 13 Reasons Why
13 Reasons Why is a series that is breaking the taboo of self-harm and suicide amongst many teens across the globe. The first season focuses on the death of Hannah, who before her death had made thirteen tapes - one for each person who had affected her life in one way or another and claiming that the part that they played was a reason for her death. The second season focuses on the trial between Hannah's parents and the school that she went to, where her parents were suing the school for negligence and failing to help their daughter in her hour of need. This trial involves all of those who received the tapes, who have to tell Hannah's story. I had never found a fault in this series, other than some particularly graphic scenes in a few of the episodes (40 minutes into Tape 5 side A, 42 minutes into Tape 6 side B, and 32 minutes in series 2 episode 13).

Rating - 8/10







9. Stranger Things
Stranger Things is set in the 1980s and focuses on a group of boys who's friend goes missing one night after cycling home from his friend's gaming session. They have no idea what has happened to him, only to later find out that it was something from a parallel universe that took him. After he is found, in season two it is discovered that Will (the boy who went missing) is still being controlled by the thing that took him, so his friends and his family go on a quest to put an end to all of this once and for all. As well as all of this, a girl called Eleven comes into the boys' lives, however she is no ordinary girl as you will come to discover throughout the series. It's all really a question of whether or not they can defeat the monster, whilst all remaining alive.

Rating - 7/10







10. Peaky Blinders
Even though I have been trying as hard as I can to only stick to the shows that are only available to me on Netflix, I had to include Peaky Blinders in this list because I love it (plus the fact that I had run out of shows that I have watched that are only available to me on Netflix). Even though Netflix only has the first three series (there is a fourth series already out), I was gripped by every single second. It is set in the early 1900s in Birmingham, focusing on a gang family who don't do anything by halves and always have each other's backs no matter what. They have many rivals, however always manage to come out on top. Even though at times it is a struggle to watch, it is gripping from the start and is definitely a must-watch.

Rating - 8/10








Love Beth xx

Sunday 14 October 2018

Is having divorced parents sometimes better?

As those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know, my parents have been separated for almost four years now and eventually got divorced in August last year. At times dealing with this has definitely been challenging and is something that I would never want to put my kids through if I were to ever get married. Today I wanted to explore why, despite there seeming to be so many people saying that having divorced parents can affect kids negatively, having divorced parents can also be seen as being a positive thing.

For as long as I can remember, the whole of my parents marriage seemed to involve them arguing with one another whenever they were anywhere near one another. This atmosphere was always very toxic and as I grew older I became increasingly concerned about whether their marriage was going to survive and what that would mean for me and my brothers. It didn't seem to matter whether there was a happy occasion, such as a birthday, Christmas or anything else, they would always find something to argue about the minute one of them entered the room. This took it's toll on me and as devastated, angry and upset I was when my parents eventually broke it to me that they were going to get divorced, in some ways it was kind of a relief that I would no longer have to be surrounded by them constantly arguing with each other.

Obviously there are a lot of arguments that I (regrettably) can remember, however there is one time in particular that has stuck with me. At the time I was about seven and it was a Saturday morning and I was just casually sat on the sofa in the living room watching TV. My mum was somewhere in the house and my dad was outside working. I seem to remember my dad coming back in the house for one reason or another and that's when my mum and dad started having this full blown argument. I don't actually remember what they were arguing about, however what I do remember is my mum's face getting angrier and angrier by the second until she was basically purple in the face, to the point where she made me go upstairs to my room so that their argument could get even more heated. This was pretty pointless as in my old house you could hear what someone was saying from the other side of the house, even if they were whispering. So when my mum and dad were practically screaming at each other, I could definitely hear everything that they were arguing about.

One of the problems with having parents who argued all the time is that that type of 'love' is the only way I have ever known to 'love' somebody; which is probably why I often found myself unnecessarily having arguments with my ex-boyfriend over things that really shouldn't have mattered. I always knew that some of our arguments were often unnecessary and when they were I knew that I was taking things a bit too far in how I approached them and found myself constantly apologising for some of the things that I had said. I guess that part of that reason is from being in that environment where as my parents were married to one another and presumably 'in love', the way for me to show my love to someone was to constantly argue with them - which DEFINITELY isn't the case.

As they were constantly arguing with one another, this was an incredibly toxic place for me to be in and there were definitely a lot of times where I wished that they would just split up and get divorced. Admittedly, that's not what every child wants to happen to their parents, however after being in that environment for the majority of my life, it got to the point where I was just fed up of all the arguments and wanted to be able to have some calmness and tranquillity in my life. And if this meant my parents getting divorced, then so be it.

I'm not saying that having divorced parents is the best thing for everyone. Yes for me it's a slightly better situation than the one I used to be in, however having divorced parents is definitely difficult and challenging at times. You constantly feel like you are in the middle of any arguments that they do have with one another and find that one parent will tell you about all the horrible things about the other and vice versa. It's a never ending battle of feeling like you have to choose sides but not knowing which side to choose. Even though I'm glad my parents are divorced I do still wish that they were still together at times because it would make some aspects of my life a whole lot easier and less stressful and would mean that I wouldn't have to be constantly relaying messages between the two of them and having to listen to two completely different sides of the same story.

So in some aspects I wish that my parents were back together. But then I remember all the arguments and the fighting and I'm just so glad to not be in that situation anymore and am genuinely glad that my parents are divorced.

Let's get back to the question that I asked at the start of this post: is having divorced parents sometimes better?

Yes, at times it is. But is this the case for everyone? Absolutely not. I guess it just depends on your situation and whether you believe that it's better for you or not.

Let me know in the comments below what you think. Is having divorced parents sometimes better? You decide.

Love Beth xx

Sunday 7 October 2018

Choosing the right University for you

As I embark on my newest adventure of starting university, I thought that I would write a post on my experience of trying to find the right university for me as a way of trying to give you my first-hand experience with this; as well as telling you a few things that I wish I had done differently, either when it came to looking at university's or the application process.

I first started looking at universities a few months towards the end of year 12. At first it wasn't so much about finding the right university as it was more to do with looking at different courses in an area that I was interested in working in and comparing the content of each course with each university. My original choice (and one of the first courses that I looked at) was a child development course at the University of South Wales. I had never heard of this university before and when I mentioned it to a few of my teacher's they thought I meant a university that was in South Wales, so I guess that they had never heard of it either. This remained a firm favourite and started off with being my first choice for quite some time. However as time went on, I found a few other courses that took my interest (either childhood studies or early childhood studies) and started to find myself preferring them over my original choice.

When I first started thinking about applying for university, my original decision was to choose ones that were far away from home because I knew that I would be too tempted to go home quite a lot if I went to a university that was reasonably close to home. I mainly wanted to go to university in Wales because for some reason I really like it there and the Welsh accent is one of my favourites. I was also looking at going to university in Liverpool and further south in Southampton. But like when it came to choosing a course, the further the process of looking for universities moved on, the more I found myself preferring to go to a university that was a bit closer to home and in an area that was slightly familiar to me. So that's why I decided to choose Birmingham because it's less than an hour away from where I live and I go there at least once a year so I kind of know it, although as it's completely different from my home town (which is very small and Birmingham is the second largest city in the UK) I know I will very easily get lost.

One thing I regret about my university application process was the fact that I didn't actually go and look at many of the universities that I was planning on applying to. This was a really stupid decision as it's a good idea to go and look around as many universities as possible so that you can compare them all and choose the one that appealed to you the most; as well as getting to know who your lecturers are going to be and at least having some idea of where about's your campus is and possibly what your accommodation is like. In my defence I was going to go to a couple of open days, however on the days that were available I was either busy or didn't know how I was going to get there so couldn't go. I get that this is a pretty poor excuse but I guess that I was scared of the unknown as I had no idea what was going to happen and I started feeling quite anxious about the whole thing. I did go to an open day for the university that I am going to at the end of June this year and I'm so glad I went because I was able to get an idea of the area that my campus is based at and got to take a look at where I am going to be staying and I am fairly impressed by both of them. But I would definitely say start looking at universities early (as soon as the first open days begin which is around June - so towards the end of year 12) because this way you can look at them months in advance of you needing to send off your UCAS application and will be able to make a much more informed decision that way.

I think I should make it clear to anyone who is looking at going to university: DO NOT pick a university just because one or a few of your friends are going there. I get that you don't want to be in an unfamiliar place where at first you don't know anyone (because believe me I'm writing this before I've even started university and I feel just like that) but everyone else is going to be feeling exactly the same as you. If you are going somewhere just because one of your friend's is going there then it is possible that you might find that you won't enjoy yourself as much as you would have done if you had gone somewhere that you actually wanted to go to; regardless of whether any of your friends were going there or not. Plus, if you did go somewhere that at least one of your friends was going to then you might find that you are clinging on to each other and don't bother trying to make any friends because you feel that you've already got a friend(s) and don't need anyone else. There are ways that you can make friends or at least get to know the people that you are going to be at university with before you get there as there are plenty of Facebook and WhatsApp groups and group chats, whether this be for your course, accommodation, university, or for a selection of universities that are all in the same city/area.

That's everything I feel that I can give you advice on when it comes to picking universities. At some point I might do a post on the application process and what that entails so let me know in the comments below if you'd like me to do a post based on this. Also please let me know if there are any other topics that you'd like me to do a post about and I will try my hardest to do that for you. And if there is anything that you want to talk to me about, please feel free to email or DM me. My contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.

Thank you very much for reading this post. Good luck to anyone like me who is starting university or who is maybe going into their second or third year (or any other year if your course is longer than three years). Also good luck to anyone who is starting their application process or who has just started sixth form as I know all too well how challenging it gets - but if I can get through it then you can to.

Love Beth xx