2018. What a year it's been. Nationally, it's been a year of change in many ways. But for me, personally, it's been one heck of a year for many reasons, and here's why:
As those of you who have been following my blog for many years may or may not know, at the end of 2017 I moved house due to my parents getting a divorce. Even though this happened last year, a lot of the things that have happened to do with my new house have happened this year. When we bought the house (I say we, I mean my Mum), even though there was nothing particularly wrong with it, it wasn't exactly up to my Mum's expectations and there was quite a lot of things to be done. For a start, there originally wasn't a bedroom for me as it was only a three-bed house so my mum had the garage converted into a fourth bedroom for me. The kitchen and upstairs bathroom was also slightly falling apart so my Mum had both of those completely renovated and they both look like brand new. She also did a little bit of redecorating in the utility, downstairs bathroom, my brother's bedroom, and her bedroom. There is still a few more things to do, such as a complete redecoration of the living room and an extension done on my other brother's bedroom, so hopefully the house should be fully completed at some point next year.
Another big thing that happened this year was that I turned eighteen. As those of you in the UK will know, turning eighteen is a pretty big deal as it is when you officially become an adult due to you now being able to vote and legally drink alcohol. Because I'm the kind of person who doesn't like all of the attention to be on me, I decided to not bother with throwing a massive party or making a massive deal about it and just had a quiet celebratory meal with some friends and a few drinks with my family and close family friends. Looking back on it now, I kind of regret not doing something more so that I could look back in a few years and remember that time, but I guess there is nothing I can do about that now as it was what I wanted to do at the time.
One thing that I'm so glad I started again this year is my blog. As some of you will know, I took a year out of blogging because at the time I was struggling to come up with post ideas and was also struggling with trying to balance writing posts for my blog and doing work for my A-Levels. I'm kind of annoyed at myself for not finding a better way of managing my time so that I could do both, but I guess that as my A-Level results would determine my future, I had to choose A-Levels over my blog. I've now found that I'm much better at managing my time, I'm writing my posts WAY in advance (I'm writing this one at the beginning of November) and I've also planned what posts I'm going to write and when I'm going to post them. But I'm really glad that I came back to blogging and everyone has been so welcoming, so thank you all for that.
One thing that I FINALLY got around to doing was getting myself some driving lessons. For those of you who don't live in the UK, you can first start learning how to drive when you turn seventeen. I first rang my instructor about getting driving lessons at the start of January, and had my first lesson at the end of February - around two weeks before I turned eighteen. Obviously this was a long time coming and I probably should have started learning how to drive a lot sooner than I did, but I guess it was about doing it when I felt ready to. But, after a few months of lessons (37 hours to be precise) I managed to pass my driving test at the beginning of September. Obviously before this I had to take my theory test, and in that I got 46 out of 50 on the multiple choice questions and 65 out of 75 on the hazard perception test. I have only driven my car a few times so far and only stalled it maybe once or twice and somehow managed to get a score of 10 out of 10 on my driving (I had to have a black box to lower the insurance so they score me based on three different elements of my driving - speed, smoothness, and usage - in order for me to get rewards back).
Another achievement was me FINALLY being able to finish A-Levels. I obviously would never want to put anyone who is thinking of (or who is currently) doing A-Levels off the idea and it was a fun two years, but the actual A-Levels themselves were really, really hard. For those of you who don't already know, I did history, psychology, and health and social care and my final grades for these subjects was BCC. I have no idea how I managed to do this, nor do I know how I managed to make it out of those two years alive, but I did it and that's all that matters. I guess I put the hard work and effort in (not so much in year 12 but we'll ignore that for now) and worked harder than I have ever work in MY LIFE. But it looks like the saying is true - if you put in the hard work then you'll succeed. And I put in the hard work. And I succeeded.
Obviously as I finished my A-Levels and saw that chapter of my life close, a new one opened in the form of me starting university. I somehow managed to get myself an unconditional offer for my first choice uni which I am currently at, which I was pleasantly surprised at. If I'll be completely honest with you, at first I thought that they'd made a mistake, and then I thought that someone was trying to play a prank on me so I refused to get my hopes up. I'm not going to lie to you, uni life is a little difficult but it is fun at the same time. It's difficult because you're thrown into this completely new environment and have to get used to doing everything for yourself after YEARS of relying on others; as well as it getting particularly lonely at times and feeling like you have no one to talk to. However, it's also really fun because you get to meet loads of new people and make new friends who you might not have either met if you hadn't gone to uni or who you might not have been friends with if you knew them before going to uni. But so far things are going okay - they're not great but they're not particularly bad either. But hopefully things are on the up.
Now to my hopes for 2019...
I know that this is going to sound a bit pathetic, but I really want to find love at some point next year. I have been single for a little over a year now and I just want to meet someone who I really love and treats me how I deserve to be treated. I would like to think that this person is the person who I end up staying with for the rest of my life, but I get that things don't always work out that way and that I may well fall in and out of love all in the space of next year... but then again, I might not. But right now I just feel really lonely and just want someone in my life who I can talk to about absolutely anything and everything. I want to be able to share all of the highs and the lows with them. I want to be able to wake up next to them in the morning and realise how lucky I am to have them there with me. I want to be able to go on random late night trips with them... just because we can. I get that these things happen when you least expect them to, but I hope that this moment is soon because, funnily enough, I do really miss having a boyfriend. I also understand that some of you might say I'm too young for this to happen, but I know people who have been together since they were younger than me and are still going strong thirty or forty years later (and possibly longer), so you can never say that someone is too young to either find or be in love.
Another hope of mine is to set aside my anxiety and become more confident in myself. I feel that for the past few years I have let my anxiety pretty much define who I am as a person and have stopped myself from doing things just because I'm worried about having an anxiety or a panic attack while I am there. I hate it when I'm trying to fall asleep at night and I suddenly become very panicky about something that is yet to happen and have to stay up for, at times, hours, just until that panic and anxiety subsides. I want to beat this. I want to be able to come out of the other side and not overthink every little thing that has ever happened to me. I want to come out of the other side and be able to actually be able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour and stay asleep for the whole night. I want to come out of the other side and not feel so low to the point where I'm wondering if there's even any point in me continuing on with this life. I just want to feel like normal and not be held back by anything - no matter how big or how small.
My final hope for 2019 is for me to be happy. I haven't felt truly happy for as long as I can remember and I would just like to spend a few days at the least being completely happy. I don't care what the reason for this is, I'm just fed up of feeling so upset and lonely on a day-to-day basis. I look at people who appear to be enjoying themselves and having a good time and being happy and wonder why I can't be like that. Yes a smile can hide a thousand tears, and believe me I know that more than anyone, but for once in my life I just want to be able to smile at someone or tell them that I'm happy and genuinely mean it. People tell me that at my age I should be happy, but to be honest I'm not. And just because I'm young doesn't mean that I have to be happy or that I haven't experienced anything really bad happening to me, because believe me I have. But at the end of the day, at some point next year I just want to be able to look at someone directly in the eyes and tell them that I'm happy and mean it, and being able to do this would mean the absolute world to me.
So that was my round up of 2018 and my hopes for 2019. I hope that this year has been a great one for you, and if not then I hope that things can only get better for you next year. I would love to know in the comments below your own experience of 2018 and what you hope to happen in 2019.
I love you all and without you, I probably wouldn't have this blog so thank you for that.
Remember, stay safe and try not to do anything that I wouldn't (which, let's be honest, isn't that much).
Love Beth xx
Sunday 30 December 2018
Sunday 23 December 2018
What I Love About Christmas
Christmas. It's an amazing time of year isn't it? Everyone starts getting together, you see people that you might not have seen in months, possibly even years. So today I thought that I'd do a bit of a Christmassy post and give you everything about Christmas that I love.
1. The build-up
You've got to admit that the build-up to Christmas is pretty amazing, isn't it? For me, the build-up starts in September (might be a bit early for some, but for me it's the perfect time) and I become obsessed with Christmas. I just love it when Christmas songs start getting played on the radio and you start seeing Christmas adverts on the TV. I love it when I fancy a cosy Sunday in and a Christmas film is on the telly. Although I get that these things don't normally start until November/December, when I do start the build-up to Christmas I start by listening to my christmas playlist on Spotify and watching past Vlogmas videos on YouTube. My obsession this year got so bad that I've quite possibly watched every single Vlogmas there is to watch, and have listened to every single Christmas song about 100 times.
2. The songs
Everyone knows that a big part of Christmas is the songs. It doesn't matter whether they are classic ones, new ones, or songs for children, Christmas songs can without a doubt put anyone in a good mood. To me, Christmas songs are the pinnacle of Christmas. You'll see them featuring in Christmas adverts, on the radio when you're on your way to school or work, at the office Christmas party, and they will always be played when you're sitting down to eat your Christmas dinner on Christmas day itself. In my eyes, you can't go wrong with a good Christmas song.
3. Christmas adverts
One of the things that tells you that it is 100% the Christmas season is when you start seeing Christmas adverts on the TV - the main one of these being the John Lewis advert. Every year it seems that many retailers are having a competition with one another over who can create the best and the most talked about Christmas advert of the year. Even though I'm not a fan of adverts in general as they just interrupt whichever show I'm watching, I will always have time and like to sit and enjoy watching the Christmas adverts. I just find that they bring a lot of joy to me and they are one of the things that properly signals to me that Christmas is just around the corner.
4. Christmas specials/Christmas TV
Another thing I love about Christmas is the number of Christmas specials that they put on the TV. Whether it's a Christmas episode by a soap opera, a special one-off episode of a TV show that used to be on TV, or a special episode of a TV series that signals the new start of that show, you just can't beat a good Christmas special. I just like to go through the radio times, look through all of the shows that are going to be on over Christmas and highlight/make a note of everything that I want to watch and either schedule them to record or put a reminder on my phone so that I know to go and watch them. I always highlight more shows and movies than I actually have the time to watch and I'm fairly certain that I still have a few things from last Christmas that I am yet to watch, so I should probably start trying to be a bit more realistic with the things I choose to watch and the amount of time I have to watch them.
5. Christmas movies
Obviously as I watch a lot of Christmas TV, I also watch a lot of Christmas movies. Some of my favourites include Love Actually, Elf, and Nativity. I just find that over Christmas you can't beat getting all cosy on the sofa with your family with some popcorn and chocolate (or whichever other movie snacks take your fancy) and watching a good Christmas movie. In my opinion, the first acceptable Christmas film to watch is The Nightmare Before Christmas because it is a mixture of both Halloween and Christmas, but if any of you have another film that you feel is the first acceptable Christmas film to watch then please feel free to comment it down below.
6. Vlogmas
This might be something that not everyone gets involved in at Christmas, but December is probably the one month of the year that I am consistently watching YouTube videos everyday - and this, my friends, is because of Vlogmas. My favourite Vlogmas to watch would have to be Zoella's as she is probably the most Christmassy YouTuber there is and is the Queen of Vlogmas (but please feel free to disagree with me on that one). Having said that, my favourite Christmas Day vlog to watch (as much as I love them all) would have to be Saffron Barker's as I feel that her and her family go all out on Christmas day and I really envy them for it.
7. Blogmas
Being a blogger, one thing I particularly enjoy over Christmas is reading other blogger's Blogmas posts. I did take part in Blogmas in 2016, however won't be this year due to not having enough time, so please feel free to check out my posts on that. Similarly, as we are coming to the end of Blogmas now, if you have any Blogmas posts (or just any general posts) that you would like me to read then please leave your link in the comments below and I'll take the time to check them out.
8. The food
You've got to admit, the food that you eat at Christmas is better than any of the food that you eat during the rest of the year, right? My favourite would definitely have to be pigs in blankets. Even though your Christmas dinner is essentially just a massive roast dinner, it is still much better than your every Sunday roast dinner and you can't deny that. But as well as your Christmas dinner, there is also plenty of chocolates to eat throughout Christmas; as well as Christmas cake and Christmas pudding (or whatever puddings you might have as a part of your Christmas dinner).
9. Family and friends
And finally, the last thing that I love about Christmas is being able to spend time with my family and friends. To me, this is what Christmas is all about. You get to spend time with some of the people who you might not see all at the same time during a really special time of the year. You get to exchange cards and gifts with them, and see their faces full of joy when they see what's inside their presents. Family and friends are both important in their own right, and without them none of us would be the people we are today and Christmas is a time for celebrating that.
Love Beth xx
1. The build-up
You've got to admit that the build-up to Christmas is pretty amazing, isn't it? For me, the build-up starts in September (might be a bit early for some, but for me it's the perfect time) and I become obsessed with Christmas. I just love it when Christmas songs start getting played on the radio and you start seeing Christmas adverts on the TV. I love it when I fancy a cosy Sunday in and a Christmas film is on the telly. Although I get that these things don't normally start until November/December, when I do start the build-up to Christmas I start by listening to my christmas playlist on Spotify and watching past Vlogmas videos on YouTube. My obsession this year got so bad that I've quite possibly watched every single Vlogmas there is to watch, and have listened to every single Christmas song about 100 times.
2. The songs
Everyone knows that a big part of Christmas is the songs. It doesn't matter whether they are classic ones, new ones, or songs for children, Christmas songs can without a doubt put anyone in a good mood. To me, Christmas songs are the pinnacle of Christmas. You'll see them featuring in Christmas adverts, on the radio when you're on your way to school or work, at the office Christmas party, and they will always be played when you're sitting down to eat your Christmas dinner on Christmas day itself. In my eyes, you can't go wrong with a good Christmas song.
3. Christmas adverts
One of the things that tells you that it is 100% the Christmas season is when you start seeing Christmas adverts on the TV - the main one of these being the John Lewis advert. Every year it seems that many retailers are having a competition with one another over who can create the best and the most talked about Christmas advert of the year. Even though I'm not a fan of adverts in general as they just interrupt whichever show I'm watching, I will always have time and like to sit and enjoy watching the Christmas adverts. I just find that they bring a lot of joy to me and they are one of the things that properly signals to me that Christmas is just around the corner.
4. Christmas specials/Christmas TV
Another thing I love about Christmas is the number of Christmas specials that they put on the TV. Whether it's a Christmas episode by a soap opera, a special one-off episode of a TV show that used to be on TV, or a special episode of a TV series that signals the new start of that show, you just can't beat a good Christmas special. I just like to go through the radio times, look through all of the shows that are going to be on over Christmas and highlight/make a note of everything that I want to watch and either schedule them to record or put a reminder on my phone so that I know to go and watch them. I always highlight more shows and movies than I actually have the time to watch and I'm fairly certain that I still have a few things from last Christmas that I am yet to watch, so I should probably start trying to be a bit more realistic with the things I choose to watch and the amount of time I have to watch them.
5. Christmas movies
Obviously as I watch a lot of Christmas TV, I also watch a lot of Christmas movies. Some of my favourites include Love Actually, Elf, and Nativity. I just find that over Christmas you can't beat getting all cosy on the sofa with your family with some popcorn and chocolate (or whichever other movie snacks take your fancy) and watching a good Christmas movie. In my opinion, the first acceptable Christmas film to watch is The Nightmare Before Christmas because it is a mixture of both Halloween and Christmas, but if any of you have another film that you feel is the first acceptable Christmas film to watch then please feel free to comment it down below.
6. Vlogmas
This might be something that not everyone gets involved in at Christmas, but December is probably the one month of the year that I am consistently watching YouTube videos everyday - and this, my friends, is because of Vlogmas. My favourite Vlogmas to watch would have to be Zoella's as she is probably the most Christmassy YouTuber there is and is the Queen of Vlogmas (but please feel free to disagree with me on that one). Having said that, my favourite Christmas Day vlog to watch (as much as I love them all) would have to be Saffron Barker's as I feel that her and her family go all out on Christmas day and I really envy them for it.
7. Blogmas
Being a blogger, one thing I particularly enjoy over Christmas is reading other blogger's Blogmas posts. I did take part in Blogmas in 2016, however won't be this year due to not having enough time, so please feel free to check out my posts on that. Similarly, as we are coming to the end of Blogmas now, if you have any Blogmas posts (or just any general posts) that you would like me to read then please leave your link in the comments below and I'll take the time to check them out.
8. The food
You've got to admit, the food that you eat at Christmas is better than any of the food that you eat during the rest of the year, right? My favourite would definitely have to be pigs in blankets. Even though your Christmas dinner is essentially just a massive roast dinner, it is still much better than your every Sunday roast dinner and you can't deny that. But as well as your Christmas dinner, there is also plenty of chocolates to eat throughout Christmas; as well as Christmas cake and Christmas pudding (or whatever puddings you might have as a part of your Christmas dinner).
9. Family and friends
And finally, the last thing that I love about Christmas is being able to spend time with my family and friends. To me, this is what Christmas is all about. You get to spend time with some of the people who you might not see all at the same time during a really special time of the year. You get to exchange cards and gifts with them, and see their faces full of joy when they see what's inside their presents. Family and friends are both important in their own right, and without them none of us would be the people we are today and Christmas is a time for celebrating that.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 16 December 2018
My First Panic Attack
*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*
So today I would like to talk to you all about something that is quite difficult for me to talk about and is something that I know if I spoke about to people face-to-face or just to society in general, I would be judged for as there is a stigma around it. And this subject is about my first panic attack.
It happen around April/May last year. I had my health and social care exam in a few days so I was revising for that. I remember sitting on my bed trying (and failing) to do a past paper. Then, I started to feel my chest getting tighter and I was struggling to breathe. My arms and hands started to feel numb and I had absolutely no idea what was happening to me. One minute I remember sitting on my bed, the next I was curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor, wanting someone to come and help me but I was too afraid to ask for help, too afraid that they would judge me for what was happening to me - even though it was out of my control.
At the time I had a boyfriend. I was alone when this happened but I can remember texting him once I'd started to feel like I had regained a bit of control. To be fair to him, he was reasonably good at trying to calm me down (despite saying that he had never been in that sort of situation before and had no idea on what to do) and kept on trying to find ways to make me laugh; or at least to try and get me to get out of my state of panic. But I guess that because he didn't really have a clue on what to do, any attempts that he made to try and get me to calm down failed. And any time after this when I could feel myself starting to go back into the same place as I did when I had my panic attack, he would just completely ignore how I was feeling and dismiss it as if it wasn't a major thing. It was a major thing. I guess I should probably try and see it from his perspective of maybe feeling a bit uncomfortable and being put in an impossible situation of trying to calm me down, but it's not as if I wanted to go through this and would have given anything to not have gone through that ordeal.
Panic attacks aren't something that should be dismissed. They are a very real thing that happens to many people across the world today. They are uncontrollable and occur when you least expect them to. No-one can help it if they have one and in that moment they need those around them to help try and calm them down, and NOT just think that it's nothing and that they'll 'get over it'. Panic attacks make you feel like you're losing control, but some feel like they're having a heart attack - some people even claim that they felt like they were going to die. And it's not over-exaggeration before you say it. That is genuinely how people feel and is a way that no person should ever have to feel or even experience.
I just want you to close your eyes and imagine something for a second. Imagine that you're out shopping with a group of friends. You're all laughing and having a good time and you don't see how anything could possibly go wrong. And then, all of a sudden, you feel your chest starting to get tighter and tighter. Your limbs begin to feel like jelly. You start to sweat and feel sick. You grasp onto the wall to try and steady yourself and suddenly you fall to the floor. Your friends are still walking along and laughing. They don't realise that you are no longer with them. You can't cry out for help because you're completely unaware of your surroundings. People pass by you, carrying on their day-to-day lives like they don't see you. You feel like you're slowly drowning and don't know when it's going to stop. And even when you do start to feel like you're slowly gaining control again, you have absolutely no idea what's just happened. That's a panic attack.
Don't suffer in silence. That panic attack that I had was probably one of my worst experiences to date and I would NEVER want to go through that again. Talk to people. If you suffer from panic attacks regularly, talk to someone about it. Tell them that this is what you go through and try and explain to them what they can do to help. Even if you don't suffer from panic attacks regularly but you have had them before (even if it was only one), tell someone. You need to have a good support base around you. You need to have people around you that can (to an extent) have some idea of what you are going through so that they can try their absolute best to help you with it. You might hate the idea of telling someone and believe me I understand, but having at least one person knowing what you're going through can help you massively. Even if it means talking to me about it, then please do. I would rather know that anyone who suffers from panic attacks had confided in someone they know and trust about it (or me, a complete and utter stranger but someone who is always on hand to help), instead of keeping it to themselves. And if you do need to talk to me, I am only a short DM a way.
Please don't suffer in silence.
Love Beth xx
So today I would like to talk to you all about something that is quite difficult for me to talk about and is something that I know if I spoke about to people face-to-face or just to society in general, I would be judged for as there is a stigma around it. And this subject is about my first panic attack.
It happen around April/May last year. I had my health and social care exam in a few days so I was revising for that. I remember sitting on my bed trying (and failing) to do a past paper. Then, I started to feel my chest getting tighter and I was struggling to breathe. My arms and hands started to feel numb and I had absolutely no idea what was happening to me. One minute I remember sitting on my bed, the next I was curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor, wanting someone to come and help me but I was too afraid to ask for help, too afraid that they would judge me for what was happening to me - even though it was out of my control.
At the time I had a boyfriend. I was alone when this happened but I can remember texting him once I'd started to feel like I had regained a bit of control. To be fair to him, he was reasonably good at trying to calm me down (despite saying that he had never been in that sort of situation before and had no idea on what to do) and kept on trying to find ways to make me laugh; or at least to try and get me to get out of my state of panic. But I guess that because he didn't really have a clue on what to do, any attempts that he made to try and get me to calm down failed. And any time after this when I could feel myself starting to go back into the same place as I did when I had my panic attack, he would just completely ignore how I was feeling and dismiss it as if it wasn't a major thing. It was a major thing. I guess I should probably try and see it from his perspective of maybe feeling a bit uncomfortable and being put in an impossible situation of trying to calm me down, but it's not as if I wanted to go through this and would have given anything to not have gone through that ordeal.
Panic attacks aren't something that should be dismissed. They are a very real thing that happens to many people across the world today. They are uncontrollable and occur when you least expect them to. No-one can help it if they have one and in that moment they need those around them to help try and calm them down, and NOT just think that it's nothing and that they'll 'get over it'. Panic attacks make you feel like you're losing control, but some feel like they're having a heart attack - some people even claim that they felt like they were going to die. And it's not over-exaggeration before you say it. That is genuinely how people feel and is a way that no person should ever have to feel or even experience.
I just want you to close your eyes and imagine something for a second. Imagine that you're out shopping with a group of friends. You're all laughing and having a good time and you don't see how anything could possibly go wrong. And then, all of a sudden, you feel your chest starting to get tighter and tighter. Your limbs begin to feel like jelly. You start to sweat and feel sick. You grasp onto the wall to try and steady yourself and suddenly you fall to the floor. Your friends are still walking along and laughing. They don't realise that you are no longer with them. You can't cry out for help because you're completely unaware of your surroundings. People pass by you, carrying on their day-to-day lives like they don't see you. You feel like you're slowly drowning and don't know when it's going to stop. And even when you do start to feel like you're slowly gaining control again, you have absolutely no idea what's just happened. That's a panic attack.
Don't suffer in silence. That panic attack that I had was probably one of my worst experiences to date and I would NEVER want to go through that again. Talk to people. If you suffer from panic attacks regularly, talk to someone about it. Tell them that this is what you go through and try and explain to them what they can do to help. Even if you don't suffer from panic attacks regularly but you have had them before (even if it was only one), tell someone. You need to have a good support base around you. You need to have people around you that can (to an extent) have some idea of what you are going through so that they can try their absolute best to help you with it. You might hate the idea of telling someone and believe me I understand, but having at least one person knowing what you're going through can help you massively. Even if it means talking to me about it, then please do. I would rather know that anyone who suffers from panic attacks had confided in someone they know and trust about it (or me, a complete and utter stranger but someone who is always on hand to help), instead of keeping it to themselves. And if you do need to talk to me, I am only a short DM a way.
Please don't suffer in silence.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 9 December 2018
What's Wrong with the Education System? - A Pupil's Perspective
As someone who has been in education for the majority of her life, I have seen many changes happen during my time in education. And now that I am currently at University and looking at a potential career in teaching, I thought that I would write a post on everything that I can see that is currently wrong with the education system and what changes need to be made.
*N.B. these are my ideas as someone who was just a pupil who had just finished school, therefore being from the perspective of someone at school and not as someone who might have a bit more background knowledge of the actual education system. If you enjoy this post I might write a follow-up from this one, but from the perspective of someone who is heavily involved with the education system, so if you would be interested in reading that or would like to collaborate with me on it then please let me know.
For a start, there is an incredibly noticeable lack in the amount of mental health support that is available for pupils. Throughout my entire time in secondary education, I had absolutely no idea who I was meant to go to if I needed to talk to someone about my mental health. Now, as for someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, this was very worrying. There were plenty of times when my mental health was at its lowest and when I found myself wanting to talk to someone about it, I couldn't. Yes, during lower school we had form tutors and in upper school we had mentors, but I knew that there was no point in me talking to them about it because, based on others past experiences, I didn't think that anything would have been done about it after me speaking to them. And I know that it's not just like this in the school that I went to, but also in the majority of schools up and down the country. Therefore, I think that the Government need to take it upon themselves to do something to sort out this situation and make sure that all schools have a good mental health support system in place for those who need it.
Another thing that I don't agree with are exams. Throughout my time at school it was always put across to me that I needed to at least pass my exams in order to be able to succeed in life. It was also put across to me that the teachers need me to pass so that it reflected better on them, therefore resulting in quite a few of them only trying to get us to pass our exams just so that they could look good and take all of the credit. I didn't like this approach, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Throw this in with the fact that I am absolutely no good at exams, it just means that I was always set up to fail. I also don't like the fact that all exams are based on memory and even though everyone is of a different ability, we all have to sit the exact same exam. This is hardly fair is it? It's like expecting a fish, an elephant, and a monkey to all be able to climb a tree. Well, we all know that the monkey is the only one that is going to be able to do this. The elephant won't but at least he is on land; whereas for the fish, he won't be able to climb the tree AND is out of his natural habitat. I just think that exams need to be a bit more flexible in the different abilities that they cater for and need to stop expecting us all to pass an exam using our memory alone. The amount of stress that this puts on pupils is extraordinary and no teenager should have to feel like their entire life is depending on these exams - because this is what we are told (and believe me, your ENTIRE LIFE isn't down to just a few exams alone).
This ties in nicely with my next point... taking your exams at the end of two years. I have experienced both cases of either taking an exam after a year or having to study for two or three years and then take it. It is fair to say that the former was much less stressful than the latter. However, I can see the pros and cons for both. The pros of taking your exams after a year are that the content is still relatively fresh in your head so even if when you get into the exam hall and find that you have forgotten a few things, you should still be able to recall some of it as it is still relatively fresh in your mind. However the cons are that it does at times feel like you are having to learn everything at a fast pace and by the time it comes to taking the exam, some of your writing skills that you might have needed to develop might not be as of the same standard as they might have been if you had taken the exam at a later time. The pros for taking your exams after two or three years are for this reason of your writing skills having developed to a reasonable amount and not having to learn and take in the information at such a fast pace. However the cons of this are that you struggle to remember stuff that you learnt in the first year and find yourself prioritising everything you learnt in the first year instead of the stuff that you learnt in the second year when revising. I also don't like the fact that coursework is now relatively none existent and a lot of subjects rest majorly on exams (sometimes 100%) and NOT coursework. I just think that exams shouldn't have to be an issue and that the amount of exams should go down and the amount of coursework should go up.
A big issue facing education today is money. It is a widely known fact that the money given by the Government to the education system has fallen considerably and this lack of money is causing there to be many problems in education today. There isn't enough money given to schools to provide students with resources in the classrooms that they need, and nor are teachers being paid enough for the amount of work that they put in. In some schools, some teachers are even having to take on extra jobs, such as cleaning, because the school can't afford to pay for a cleaner - with this having a potential impact on children's education. If this carries on then the way things are going, children's education is going to be put at such a great risk to the point where their future is also going to be put at risk. In my opinion, the sooner the Government realises that more money needs to be put into education (as well as other services), the better.
I'm not entirely sure whether this next point is down to the education system, or whether it's just to do with schools in general, but something does need to be done about how pupils should wear their school uniforms. The uniforms are there to make them look smart, which generally speaking it does do. However, what I don't like is the many, many rules that schools put in place about the uniforms. For example, at my old school we always had to have our top buttons done up, our ties had to be a certain length and up to the top button, and skirts had to be down to our knees. More often that not we were judged for how we wore our uniform than for our actual school work. For example, one of the maths teachers that I had in year 7 and year 8 used to stand outside his room at the start of every lesson and comment on our uniform and wouldn't let us in until we had sorted it. He used to lengthen peoples ties, pull their ties up, and even tell the girls that they needed to pull their skirts down a bit so that they reached their knees or would tell them to buy a new skirt altogether. This used to take around five or ten minutes at the start of every lesson, therefore going into valuable time that we could have spent on our school work. There was several times in his lessons where he would pick on me in particular, stop midway through his lesson, come over to me and pull my tie up - because apparently how we look determines how much work and effort we are going to put into our studies. To be honest, I just think that children need to wear something in school that they feel comfortable in, and not something that is uncomfortable or makes them feel like their teachers are constantly going to be keeping an eye on what their uniform looks like and prioritising that over their learning.
So those are five of the things that I feel is wrong with the education system at the moment. If you feel that there is anything that I have missed then please feel free to comment them down below. Or if you want to add anything on to the points I have already made then please feel free to do that also. Or if you are still in education (particularly secondary school) or someone who works in education, then I would love to hear what your opinion is on anything that I have or haven't already mentioned.
Love Beth xx
*N.B. these are my ideas as someone who was just a pupil who had just finished school, therefore being from the perspective of someone at school and not as someone who might have a bit more background knowledge of the actual education system. If you enjoy this post I might write a follow-up from this one, but from the perspective of someone who is heavily involved with the education system, so if you would be interested in reading that or would like to collaborate with me on it then please let me know.
For a start, there is an incredibly noticeable lack in the amount of mental health support that is available for pupils. Throughout my entire time in secondary education, I had absolutely no idea who I was meant to go to if I needed to talk to someone about my mental health. Now, as for someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, this was very worrying. There were plenty of times when my mental health was at its lowest and when I found myself wanting to talk to someone about it, I couldn't. Yes, during lower school we had form tutors and in upper school we had mentors, but I knew that there was no point in me talking to them about it because, based on others past experiences, I didn't think that anything would have been done about it after me speaking to them. And I know that it's not just like this in the school that I went to, but also in the majority of schools up and down the country. Therefore, I think that the Government need to take it upon themselves to do something to sort out this situation and make sure that all schools have a good mental health support system in place for those who need it.
Another thing that I don't agree with are exams. Throughout my time at school it was always put across to me that I needed to at least pass my exams in order to be able to succeed in life. It was also put across to me that the teachers need me to pass so that it reflected better on them, therefore resulting in quite a few of them only trying to get us to pass our exams just so that they could look good and take all of the credit. I didn't like this approach, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one. Throw this in with the fact that I am absolutely no good at exams, it just means that I was always set up to fail. I also don't like the fact that all exams are based on memory and even though everyone is of a different ability, we all have to sit the exact same exam. This is hardly fair is it? It's like expecting a fish, an elephant, and a monkey to all be able to climb a tree. Well, we all know that the monkey is the only one that is going to be able to do this. The elephant won't but at least he is on land; whereas for the fish, he won't be able to climb the tree AND is out of his natural habitat. I just think that exams need to be a bit more flexible in the different abilities that they cater for and need to stop expecting us all to pass an exam using our memory alone. The amount of stress that this puts on pupils is extraordinary and no teenager should have to feel like their entire life is depending on these exams - because this is what we are told (and believe me, your ENTIRE LIFE isn't down to just a few exams alone).
This ties in nicely with my next point... taking your exams at the end of two years. I have experienced both cases of either taking an exam after a year or having to study for two or three years and then take it. It is fair to say that the former was much less stressful than the latter. However, I can see the pros and cons for both. The pros of taking your exams after a year are that the content is still relatively fresh in your head so even if when you get into the exam hall and find that you have forgotten a few things, you should still be able to recall some of it as it is still relatively fresh in your mind. However the cons are that it does at times feel like you are having to learn everything at a fast pace and by the time it comes to taking the exam, some of your writing skills that you might have needed to develop might not be as of the same standard as they might have been if you had taken the exam at a later time. The pros for taking your exams after two or three years are for this reason of your writing skills having developed to a reasonable amount and not having to learn and take in the information at such a fast pace. However the cons of this are that you struggle to remember stuff that you learnt in the first year and find yourself prioritising everything you learnt in the first year instead of the stuff that you learnt in the second year when revising. I also don't like the fact that coursework is now relatively none existent and a lot of subjects rest majorly on exams (sometimes 100%) and NOT coursework. I just think that exams shouldn't have to be an issue and that the amount of exams should go down and the amount of coursework should go up.
A big issue facing education today is money. It is a widely known fact that the money given by the Government to the education system has fallen considerably and this lack of money is causing there to be many problems in education today. There isn't enough money given to schools to provide students with resources in the classrooms that they need, and nor are teachers being paid enough for the amount of work that they put in. In some schools, some teachers are even having to take on extra jobs, such as cleaning, because the school can't afford to pay for a cleaner - with this having a potential impact on children's education. If this carries on then the way things are going, children's education is going to be put at such a great risk to the point where their future is also going to be put at risk. In my opinion, the sooner the Government realises that more money needs to be put into education (as well as other services), the better.
I'm not entirely sure whether this next point is down to the education system, or whether it's just to do with schools in general, but something does need to be done about how pupils should wear their school uniforms. The uniforms are there to make them look smart, which generally speaking it does do. However, what I don't like is the many, many rules that schools put in place about the uniforms. For example, at my old school we always had to have our top buttons done up, our ties had to be a certain length and up to the top button, and skirts had to be down to our knees. More often that not we were judged for how we wore our uniform than for our actual school work. For example, one of the maths teachers that I had in year 7 and year 8 used to stand outside his room at the start of every lesson and comment on our uniform and wouldn't let us in until we had sorted it. He used to lengthen peoples ties, pull their ties up, and even tell the girls that they needed to pull their skirts down a bit so that they reached their knees or would tell them to buy a new skirt altogether. This used to take around five or ten minutes at the start of every lesson, therefore going into valuable time that we could have spent on our school work. There was several times in his lessons where he would pick on me in particular, stop midway through his lesson, come over to me and pull my tie up - because apparently how we look determines how much work and effort we are going to put into our studies. To be honest, I just think that children need to wear something in school that they feel comfortable in, and not something that is uncomfortable or makes them feel like their teachers are constantly going to be keeping an eye on what their uniform looks like and prioritising that over their learning.
So those are five of the things that I feel is wrong with the education system at the moment. If you feel that there is anything that I have missed then please feel free to comment them down below. Or if you want to add anything on to the points I have already made then please feel free to do that also. Or if you are still in education (particularly secondary school) or someone who works in education, then I would love to hear what your opinion is on anything that I have or haven't already mentioned.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 2 December 2018
Tattoos and Coloured Hair: are they acceptable for work?
I feel that this has been a long debated topic and decided that it is something that I would like to talk about on my blog. There has often been a lot of stigma around people having tattoos and having coloured hair, with many people (particularly in the older generation) saying that people who have either (or both) of these are unemployable. Personally, I think that this is complete and utter nonsense and don't understand where this opinion came from.
We all look different and none of us look the same. We all have different personalities and interests that make us who we are. If we didn't have these then we would be lying to ourselves about who we really are - almost like playing a character.
We all like to express ourselves in different ways, and for some people this means dying their hair or having tattoos put on their body. People should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they like, whether society likes it or not. The only person that should be allowed to tell you what to do is you and not anybody else; whether you know them or not. Obviously everyone has their own opinion and like to make this opinion known, but just because they have an opinion doesn't mean that they have the right to tell you what you can and cannot do. And if you want to dye your hair a random colour just because you want to, then go for it. If you want to get a tattoo because you like the look of it or it holds a special meaning to you, then go for it.
Now, moving onto the problem of having coloured hair and tattoos in the workplace. It is a common belief that people who have coloured hair and/or tattoos aren't as hardworking or as good at doing work as those who have natural looking hair and no tattoos (at least not any visible ones). As a young person, I have never understood this belief. As an example, when my dad's family found out that my cousin had got a tattoo, they all went mad. They were not at all impressed by it, but for me, personally, I couldn't see that there was anything wrong with it. I mean, at the end of the day, it's just a bit of ink on your skin. I get that it's there for life, but if it's something that you like and you want to have then you go for it.
But from what I can gather, people who do the interviews for potential employees don't just judge them by what's on their CV, but also by how they look. And if they interview someone who has coloured hair or visible tattoos then that person is pretty much guaranteed to have been put in the no pile before they've even sat down to have the interview. Even if their CV is MILES better than anyone else's, if they have coloured hair or tattoos then it's a big no-no. I read something online recently where someone said that they had been to an interview and for the interview they had covered up their tattoos. They were given the job and on their first day of work they turned up with their tattoos on show. But obviously by this point they had already been employed and their employer had realised that there was nothing they could do about it. So just because someone has coloured hair or tattoos doesn't in any way mean that they are unemployable.
I, myself, do not have coloured hair or tattoos. My hair is its natural colour and I do at some point want to get a tattoo, however I want to wait a while until I either find something that I like or can think of a tattoo idea that would be meaningful to me. But if and when I do eventually get a tattoo (or colour my hair) I would like to know that someone would want to employ me because of what's on my CV, and NOT take into account the fact that I have coloured hair or a tattoo. Wanting to work with children, possibly as a teacher, means that this will probably be a tiny bit more difficult for me as I know that employers don't like teachers in particular to have tattoos that are showing as, for the reason that one person told me, they're a 'bad influence' on children. I, personally, don't see what the problem is. Chances are that some of those children when they get older are going to end up with at least one tattoo anyway, so what's the problem? Plus the fact that many of them (if they're like me when I was a child) will have stick on tattoos.
To me, I don't see what the big deal is about people having tattoos or coloured hair in the world of work. One of my lecturers has purple hair, but does that make her a bad lecturer? No, it absolutely does not. If anything she's probably one of my most interesting lecturers that I have teaching me. It's slowly coming up to 2019 now and there are still people in the work environment who believe that people with coloured hair and/or tattoos aren't suitable for work. I don't understand this attitude and think that it's now time for change. We need to stop judging people by their appearance and start judging them by what it says on their CV and how they come across as a person.
I would love to hear your views on this topic. Do you believe that people with tattoos and coloured hair are suitable for work? If yes then why? If not, why not? Or do you have tattoos and/or coloured hair and have been turned down for a job for this reason? Let me know in the comments below.
Love Beth xx
We all look different and none of us look the same. We all have different personalities and interests that make us who we are. If we didn't have these then we would be lying to ourselves about who we really are - almost like playing a character.
We all like to express ourselves in different ways, and for some people this means dying their hair or having tattoos put on their body. People should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they like, whether society likes it or not. The only person that should be allowed to tell you what to do is you and not anybody else; whether you know them or not. Obviously everyone has their own opinion and like to make this opinion known, but just because they have an opinion doesn't mean that they have the right to tell you what you can and cannot do. And if you want to dye your hair a random colour just because you want to, then go for it. If you want to get a tattoo because you like the look of it or it holds a special meaning to you, then go for it.
Now, moving onto the problem of having coloured hair and tattoos in the workplace. It is a common belief that people who have coloured hair and/or tattoos aren't as hardworking or as good at doing work as those who have natural looking hair and no tattoos (at least not any visible ones). As a young person, I have never understood this belief. As an example, when my dad's family found out that my cousin had got a tattoo, they all went mad. They were not at all impressed by it, but for me, personally, I couldn't see that there was anything wrong with it. I mean, at the end of the day, it's just a bit of ink on your skin. I get that it's there for life, but if it's something that you like and you want to have then you go for it.
But from what I can gather, people who do the interviews for potential employees don't just judge them by what's on their CV, but also by how they look. And if they interview someone who has coloured hair or visible tattoos then that person is pretty much guaranteed to have been put in the no pile before they've even sat down to have the interview. Even if their CV is MILES better than anyone else's, if they have coloured hair or tattoos then it's a big no-no. I read something online recently where someone said that they had been to an interview and for the interview they had covered up their tattoos. They were given the job and on their first day of work they turned up with their tattoos on show. But obviously by this point they had already been employed and their employer had realised that there was nothing they could do about it. So just because someone has coloured hair or tattoos doesn't in any way mean that they are unemployable.
I, myself, do not have coloured hair or tattoos. My hair is its natural colour and I do at some point want to get a tattoo, however I want to wait a while until I either find something that I like or can think of a tattoo idea that would be meaningful to me. But if and when I do eventually get a tattoo (or colour my hair) I would like to know that someone would want to employ me because of what's on my CV, and NOT take into account the fact that I have coloured hair or a tattoo. Wanting to work with children, possibly as a teacher, means that this will probably be a tiny bit more difficult for me as I know that employers don't like teachers in particular to have tattoos that are showing as, for the reason that one person told me, they're a 'bad influence' on children. I, personally, don't see what the problem is. Chances are that some of those children when they get older are going to end up with at least one tattoo anyway, so what's the problem? Plus the fact that many of them (if they're like me when I was a child) will have stick on tattoos.
To me, I don't see what the big deal is about people having tattoos or coloured hair in the world of work. One of my lecturers has purple hair, but does that make her a bad lecturer? No, it absolutely does not. If anything she's probably one of my most interesting lecturers that I have teaching me. It's slowly coming up to 2019 now and there are still people in the work environment who believe that people with coloured hair and/or tattoos aren't suitable for work. I don't understand this attitude and think that it's now time for change. We need to stop judging people by their appearance and start judging them by what it says on their CV and how they come across as a person.
I would love to hear your views on this topic. Do you believe that people with tattoos and coloured hair are suitable for work? If yes then why? If not, why not? Or do you have tattoos and/or coloured hair and have been turned down for a job for this reason? Let me know in the comments below.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 25 November 2018
A Letter to my 11-Year-Old Self
Dear 11-year-old Beth,
I'm guessing that right now you are either coming to the end of your time in primary school, or you have just started secondary school. The next seven years of your life are going to be a very long and bumpy ride; with it at times feeling like it's worth it, whereas at other times it feels like you should just give up.
In a few months (if you didn't already know) your mum is going to tell you that she's pregnant. At first you take this pretty badly as when your first brother was born, he took all of the attention away from you and you felt that the same thing was going to happen again. However, by the time he is born you learn to love him and don't know how you could ever live without him. He is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to you, and you hate yourself on a daily basis for how you felt when you first found out your mum was pregnant.
Right now you will have a group of friends that you will no longer be as close to by the time you turn 18, however you will still talk to them on the odd occasion. You will have thought during your time in primary school that you would always be friends for ever and would never leave each other's sides. Well, you thought wrong. You might all become friends again in the future, who knows? You will blame it on yourself for the fact that you are no longer friends with any of them, especially as they all seemed to remain relatively close with one another. You blame yourself for starting to remove yourself from that group and losing contact with them, instead choosing to make friends with other people (as that is what you're meant to do when you start a new school), but making friends with others (who eventually turned out to not be your friend at all) was the price you had to pay for not being friends with the people who mattered most to you.
The group of friends that you begin to associate yourself with around year 8/9 seemed to be genuine people who liked you for you. However, around half way through year 9 you start to find yourself being left out of things and not being included in anything. You try to cling to people and find a best friend, however they all already have a best friend and that person is not you. At times it feels like you are just following them around, in the hope of finally being fully accepted into the group. I'm not going to say that it gets better, but I'm not going to say that it gets worse either. I guess that it's just something that you learn to accept and eventually move on from, but more on that later.
In year 10 you will become friends (and eventually best friends) with someone who you wonder where she's been your whole life. She will be there with you for the many ups and downs that your life holds (and believe me there's plenty of those) and is always on hand to give you the best advice possible. Four years on and you are still as close as ever, and hopefully this will continue. You only want the best for her and she only wants the best for you.
During year 10/11, the end of 2014 and throughout 2015 is quite possibly the worst time of your life (so far). In November 2014 your parents split up, however fail to tell you this until almost a year later, towards the end of September 2015. You, of course, pick up on this pretty much straight away, but find yourself keeping it to yourself until your parents tell you the truth, however so far you have never admitted to anyone how long you actually knew for. And if you're thinking that this is the worst thing, then believe me it's not. At the end of January 2015 your cat dies, and then less than a week later at the start of February your Grandad dies. This will be one of the worst things you have ever experienced, and three years down the line you are still grieving. You miss them both everyday. One of the hardest things for you to do was to go to your Gran's a week after this happened and see someone sitting in your Grandad's chair. Every time you go into the kitchen you expect to see your Grandad sitting there, but he isn't. He's gone and you're struggling to face up to that. Even when you do eventually get it to go to the back of your mind, it's still there, reminding you every single day about the ones who you lost. You're annoyed at yourself that you chose being away from your brothers and being able to watch what you wanted on TV to spending your Grandad's last day on earth with him. You wish that you could turn back the clock, however, sadly, this just isn't possible.
Year 11 is quite a life-changer for you. It's your final year of secondary school and you have to make the choice of whether to stay or go elsewhere. It also marks the year where you meet a boy who will still be in your life today, in one way or another, however not how you might have hoped he would have been when you eventually get to know him. He is your type on paper and you start to have a crush on him, which eventually leads to bigger feelings and hoping that he feels the same. You both start talking and it's amazing at first. But then it all starts to go downhill once exams are over. You notice that he has started to become more distant and you have no idea why this is. You keep on trying because you like him so much, but it is no longer the same as it once was. You eventually find out that it's because he had a girlfriend. You are mad and angry at him, yet when you confront him about it he just chooses to ignore it and a few weeks later texts you, telling you that he's single again. Instead of ignoring him, you choose to start talking to him again and it becomes on-and-off for another two years. At the moment it is very much off, even though you still like him, and whether it will become on again some time in the future you are yet to find out.
Starting sixth form is a pretty big thing for you. You were originally going to go to another college, however later decide to stay on at your school - but whether this was a mistake or not, who knows? You find the work load a struggle to keep up with and your grades are constantly up and down, ranging from a U to a B, the entire time. You got very stressed, tired, and spending most of your free periods in Spoons. But don't worry, it all pays off in the end as you finish the two years with BCC, which is much better than you (and your teachers) ever expected.
Also during your time in sixth form, you manage to get yourself a boyfriend. At first things go amazingly well and for once in your life you are happy. You both start planning your future, from where you're going to live, to marriage, to having dogs, and to having kids. You believe that all of this is going to happen, which is why when things start to go downhill and you start thinking that you should break up with him, you can't bring yourself to do it. You know that you're an over-thinker so you just think that you are over-thinking the entire situation. Except you're not. After what feels like the longest month of your life from when things started to go drastically downhill, you come to learn that he also thinks that there is something wrong with your relationship and is doubting whether or not it can be saved. After a LOT of thinking, you finally get the courage to break up with him. Initially you are crushed by the whole thing. You can't stop crying and it feels like your heart has been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. But over time you are able to build yourself back up again. You learn to live without him and move on with your life. There has been no-one in the picture thus far, but you are hoping that one day there will be, and he will show you the type of love that you deserve.
The final thing I am going to talk to you about is you moving house. Because your parents are getting divorced, this inevitably means that you will have to move house. The house move itself is very stressful to say the least as your original moving date keeps on getting pushed further and further back, to the point where it almost seems as if you are never going to move, until your mum gives the people buying your house an ultimatum of either moving in by a certain date or her putting the house back up for sale. You eventually move into your new house TEN DAYS before Christmas and were given less than 24 HOURS notice of your move. As there was quite a lot to do to the house, it still isn't fully complete; however there is only a couple more rooms to do. You are really enjoying it there and don't understand why you couldn't have moved there sooner.
As a final note, I would just like to say to you that you are good enough. That you don't need to be a shy little girl who is too afraid to talk to people. That you don't need to be constantly worrying about what people may or may not be saying about you. That you don't need to constantly over think every little thing that happens to you. But you also need to block the toxic people out of your life. You need to get rid of those who don't deserve to have you in their life. You just need to feel like you are able to be yourself around people and not feel like you have to act like someone you're not because people will love you for being you. You need to stop being so afraid of things and start putting yourself out there more.
Love 18-year-old Beth xx
I'm guessing that right now you are either coming to the end of your time in primary school, or you have just started secondary school. The next seven years of your life are going to be a very long and bumpy ride; with it at times feeling like it's worth it, whereas at other times it feels like you should just give up.
In a few months (if you didn't already know) your mum is going to tell you that she's pregnant. At first you take this pretty badly as when your first brother was born, he took all of the attention away from you and you felt that the same thing was going to happen again. However, by the time he is born you learn to love him and don't know how you could ever live without him. He is quite possibly one of the best things that has ever happened to you, and you hate yourself on a daily basis for how you felt when you first found out your mum was pregnant.
Right now you will have a group of friends that you will no longer be as close to by the time you turn 18, however you will still talk to them on the odd occasion. You will have thought during your time in primary school that you would always be friends for ever and would never leave each other's sides. Well, you thought wrong. You might all become friends again in the future, who knows? You will blame it on yourself for the fact that you are no longer friends with any of them, especially as they all seemed to remain relatively close with one another. You blame yourself for starting to remove yourself from that group and losing contact with them, instead choosing to make friends with other people (as that is what you're meant to do when you start a new school), but making friends with others (who eventually turned out to not be your friend at all) was the price you had to pay for not being friends with the people who mattered most to you.
The group of friends that you begin to associate yourself with around year 8/9 seemed to be genuine people who liked you for you. However, around half way through year 9 you start to find yourself being left out of things and not being included in anything. You try to cling to people and find a best friend, however they all already have a best friend and that person is not you. At times it feels like you are just following them around, in the hope of finally being fully accepted into the group. I'm not going to say that it gets better, but I'm not going to say that it gets worse either. I guess that it's just something that you learn to accept and eventually move on from, but more on that later.
In year 10 you will become friends (and eventually best friends) with someone who you wonder where she's been your whole life. She will be there with you for the many ups and downs that your life holds (and believe me there's plenty of those) and is always on hand to give you the best advice possible. Four years on and you are still as close as ever, and hopefully this will continue. You only want the best for her and she only wants the best for you.
During year 10/11, the end of 2014 and throughout 2015 is quite possibly the worst time of your life (so far). In November 2014 your parents split up, however fail to tell you this until almost a year later, towards the end of September 2015. You, of course, pick up on this pretty much straight away, but find yourself keeping it to yourself until your parents tell you the truth, however so far you have never admitted to anyone how long you actually knew for. And if you're thinking that this is the worst thing, then believe me it's not. At the end of January 2015 your cat dies, and then less than a week later at the start of February your Grandad dies. This will be one of the worst things you have ever experienced, and three years down the line you are still grieving. You miss them both everyday. One of the hardest things for you to do was to go to your Gran's a week after this happened and see someone sitting in your Grandad's chair. Every time you go into the kitchen you expect to see your Grandad sitting there, but he isn't. He's gone and you're struggling to face up to that. Even when you do eventually get it to go to the back of your mind, it's still there, reminding you every single day about the ones who you lost. You're annoyed at yourself that you chose being away from your brothers and being able to watch what you wanted on TV to spending your Grandad's last day on earth with him. You wish that you could turn back the clock, however, sadly, this just isn't possible.
Year 11 is quite a life-changer for you. It's your final year of secondary school and you have to make the choice of whether to stay or go elsewhere. It also marks the year where you meet a boy who will still be in your life today, in one way or another, however not how you might have hoped he would have been when you eventually get to know him. He is your type on paper and you start to have a crush on him, which eventually leads to bigger feelings and hoping that he feels the same. You both start talking and it's amazing at first. But then it all starts to go downhill once exams are over. You notice that he has started to become more distant and you have no idea why this is. You keep on trying because you like him so much, but it is no longer the same as it once was. You eventually find out that it's because he had a girlfriend. You are mad and angry at him, yet when you confront him about it he just chooses to ignore it and a few weeks later texts you, telling you that he's single again. Instead of ignoring him, you choose to start talking to him again and it becomes on-and-off for another two years. At the moment it is very much off, even though you still like him, and whether it will become on again some time in the future you are yet to find out.
Starting sixth form is a pretty big thing for you. You were originally going to go to another college, however later decide to stay on at your school - but whether this was a mistake or not, who knows? You find the work load a struggle to keep up with and your grades are constantly up and down, ranging from a U to a B, the entire time. You got very stressed, tired, and spending most of your free periods in Spoons. But don't worry, it all pays off in the end as you finish the two years with BCC, which is much better than you (and your teachers) ever expected.
Also during your time in sixth form, you manage to get yourself a boyfriend. At first things go amazingly well and for once in your life you are happy. You both start planning your future, from where you're going to live, to marriage, to having dogs, and to having kids. You believe that all of this is going to happen, which is why when things start to go downhill and you start thinking that you should break up with him, you can't bring yourself to do it. You know that you're an over-thinker so you just think that you are over-thinking the entire situation. Except you're not. After what feels like the longest month of your life from when things started to go drastically downhill, you come to learn that he also thinks that there is something wrong with your relationship and is doubting whether or not it can be saved. After a LOT of thinking, you finally get the courage to break up with him. Initially you are crushed by the whole thing. You can't stop crying and it feels like your heart has been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. But over time you are able to build yourself back up again. You learn to live without him and move on with your life. There has been no-one in the picture thus far, but you are hoping that one day there will be, and he will show you the type of love that you deserve.
The final thing I am going to talk to you about is you moving house. Because your parents are getting divorced, this inevitably means that you will have to move house. The house move itself is very stressful to say the least as your original moving date keeps on getting pushed further and further back, to the point where it almost seems as if you are never going to move, until your mum gives the people buying your house an ultimatum of either moving in by a certain date or her putting the house back up for sale. You eventually move into your new house TEN DAYS before Christmas and were given less than 24 HOURS notice of your move. As there was quite a lot to do to the house, it still isn't fully complete; however there is only a couple more rooms to do. You are really enjoying it there and don't understand why you couldn't have moved there sooner.
As a final note, I would just like to say to you that you are good enough. That you don't need to be a shy little girl who is too afraid to talk to people. That you don't need to be constantly worrying about what people may or may not be saying about you. That you don't need to constantly over think every little thing that happens to you. But you also need to block the toxic people out of your life. You need to get rid of those who don't deserve to have you in their life. You just need to feel like you are able to be yourself around people and not feel like you have to act like someone you're not because people will love you for being you. You need to stop being so afraid of things and start putting yourself out there more.
Love 18-year-old Beth xx
Sunday 18 November 2018
Is it okay to not be Religious?
Religion is a complicated subject, with there being many different types of religion - meaning that we all have different beliefs about things to do with the world that we live in and what others should and shouldn't believe - resulting in many arguments.
I am just going to throw this out there now, I do not think of myself as a religious person. I was Christened when I was six months old and as far as I know all of my family members have also been Christened. I also attended a Church of England primary school. However, I don't particularly believe that there is a God and don't really believe any of the things that are in the Bible. I know that many people are going to disagree with me on this one so I apologise about any offence that I may cause any of you reading this and I assure you that I am not trying to imply that there is no such thing as religion or a God, this is just my personal opinion.
Even though everyone in my household is religious, religion isn't anything that has ever been particularly forced upon me or my brothers so I guess that's probably partly why I don't really believe that there is a God. We used to go to Church for the odd Christmas Eve service and possibly once or twice for Easter and for Harvest Festival (plus all of the times I had to go to Church as a part of my primary school), but other than that we have rarely stepped foot in a Church. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I was in a Church for a religious reason, but it has definitely been a fair few years.
You'll notice that above I mentioned that I used to go to Church for Christmas and Easter services when I was younger. I still celebrate both of these holidays, however I am unsure whether it is okay for me to do this if I don't view myself as a religious person. I mean, Christmas is meant to be about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and Easter is about celebrating his death (although I don't understand how death can ever be celebrated to be honest) and his later resurrection (please correct me on this if I am wrong). I guess that you can argue that today Christmas isn't particularly about the religious side of things and is now more to do with spending time with your friends and family (or at least it is in my household), but Easter for me has only ever really involved giving each other chocolate eggs and having a roast dinner. For this reason, part of me feels that it is wrong of me to celebrate two major Christian holidays when I don't view myself as a Christian or a religious person. Yet at the same time (and again I'm sorry if I offend anyone with what I'm about to say) I don't think that these two holidays in particular are viewed purely as something to do with religion and have become more commercialised and (with Christmas in particular) about spending time with your family. So when you put this into perspective, I would say that it probably is okay for me to celebrate these holidays, but please correct me if I'm wrong on this one too.
In today's society, everyone has their own views and opinions and even though we might disagree with some (or many) of them, there is no right or wrong answer. If you google how many religions there are, you will find that there are estimates of there being around 4,200. I reckon I could only name about five.
What particularly annoys me about religion is the fact that some people try and force their religion on you and try to get you to believe what they believe in. If you're passionate about something and that thing is your religion then that's great and I would never want anyone to feel like they couldn't be passionate about something that they believe in. However, because we all have our own opinions I don't think that people should try and force others to change their opinion because they think that what they believe is right and that everyone should believe in what they believe in and that anything other than their belief is wrong. We all have our own opinions, which we ALL have a right to, however there are certain ways that we should put our opinions across: which is to NOT force them on other people.
At the end of the day, I think that it is absolutely okay for you to not be a religious person. It is your decision and you are entitled to your own opinion. I know that I am not a religious person as I don't believe in God or in anything that happened in the Bible. But if you are a religious person and do believe in God/the Bible (or whatever else your religious beliefs are) then that's okay too. There is no right or wrong answer. It is what you believe at the end of the day.
I am really sorry if anyone has been offended by this post as that was never my intention. Do any of you agree with me and think that it's okay to not be religious? Or do you believe that everyone should have some sort of religion? Please comment your thoughts down below as I would love to see what everyone's different opinions are.
Love Beth xx
I am just going to throw this out there now, I do not think of myself as a religious person. I was Christened when I was six months old and as far as I know all of my family members have also been Christened. I also attended a Church of England primary school. However, I don't particularly believe that there is a God and don't really believe any of the things that are in the Bible. I know that many people are going to disagree with me on this one so I apologise about any offence that I may cause any of you reading this and I assure you that I am not trying to imply that there is no such thing as religion or a God, this is just my personal opinion.
Even though everyone in my household is religious, religion isn't anything that has ever been particularly forced upon me or my brothers so I guess that's probably partly why I don't really believe that there is a God. We used to go to Church for the odd Christmas Eve service and possibly once or twice for Easter and for Harvest Festival (plus all of the times I had to go to Church as a part of my primary school), but other than that we have rarely stepped foot in a Church. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I was in a Church for a religious reason, but it has definitely been a fair few years.
You'll notice that above I mentioned that I used to go to Church for Christmas and Easter services when I was younger. I still celebrate both of these holidays, however I am unsure whether it is okay for me to do this if I don't view myself as a religious person. I mean, Christmas is meant to be about celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and Easter is about celebrating his death (although I don't understand how death can ever be celebrated to be honest) and his later resurrection (please correct me on this if I am wrong). I guess that you can argue that today Christmas isn't particularly about the religious side of things and is now more to do with spending time with your friends and family (or at least it is in my household), but Easter for me has only ever really involved giving each other chocolate eggs and having a roast dinner. For this reason, part of me feels that it is wrong of me to celebrate two major Christian holidays when I don't view myself as a Christian or a religious person. Yet at the same time (and again I'm sorry if I offend anyone with what I'm about to say) I don't think that these two holidays in particular are viewed purely as something to do with religion and have become more commercialised and (with Christmas in particular) about spending time with your family. So when you put this into perspective, I would say that it probably is okay for me to celebrate these holidays, but please correct me if I'm wrong on this one too.
In today's society, everyone has their own views and opinions and even though we might disagree with some (or many) of them, there is no right or wrong answer. If you google how many religions there are, you will find that there are estimates of there being around 4,200. I reckon I could only name about five.
What particularly annoys me about religion is the fact that some people try and force their religion on you and try to get you to believe what they believe in. If you're passionate about something and that thing is your religion then that's great and I would never want anyone to feel like they couldn't be passionate about something that they believe in. However, because we all have our own opinions I don't think that people should try and force others to change their opinion because they think that what they believe is right and that everyone should believe in what they believe in and that anything other than their belief is wrong. We all have our own opinions, which we ALL have a right to, however there are certain ways that we should put our opinions across: which is to NOT force them on other people.
At the end of the day, I think that it is absolutely okay for you to not be a religious person. It is your decision and you are entitled to your own opinion. I know that I am not a religious person as I don't believe in God or in anything that happened in the Bible. But if you are a religious person and do believe in God/the Bible (or whatever else your religious beliefs are) then that's okay too. There is no right or wrong answer. It is what you believe at the end of the day.
I am really sorry if anyone has been offended by this post as that was never my intention. Do any of you agree with me and think that it's okay to not be religious? Or do you believe that everyone should have some sort of religion? Please comment your thoughts down below as I would love to see what everyone's different opinions are.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 11 November 2018
Why Remembrance Day is Important
On the 28th July 1914, the start of World War One began. Nobody knew how long this war would go on for; nor did they know how many lives it would take. Nobody knew how much of an impact it would have, nor how it would be remembered 100 years down the line.
It was known as the Great War and the War to end all Wars due to the size of it compared to any other war that had occurred in all of history.
On the 25th December 1914 (Christmas Day) a temporary truce was declared between both sides and they took part in a Christmas Day football match in No Man's Land, however despite this truce, the war was far from over.
On the 11th November 1918, on the 11th hour, the war was declared over, after just over four years of fighting.
To put into perspective how large this war was, I'm going to tell you the number facts of the war:
- you had to be 18 to sign up to be in the armed forces
- you had to be 19 to fight abroad
- 12 million letters were delivered to the front every week
- by the end of the war 2 billion letters had been delivered
- by the end of the war 114 million parcels had been delivered
- 65 million people around the world fought in the war
- 5 million people that fought in the war were British
- 8.5 million troops are thought to have been killed
- 750,000 British servicemen are thought to have been killed
- 21 million troops were wounded
- 1.5 million of the troops wounded were British
- around 2 million soldiers, sailors, and airmen died from disease, malnutrition and other causes
- around 13 million civilians were killed
Imagine living in this time. Imagine living in a time of uncertainty. Imagine living in a time when you have to see your loved ones leave and have absolutely no idea whether you are ever going to see them again. Imagine what was once a full house full of love and happiness, is now a house filled with worry, dread and despair. Imagine your husband, son, brother going off to war, only never to return. Imagine your child growing up without a dad and asking where daddy is, only for you to not be able to answer. Imagine getting married to your husband and the next day he is called up for war, never to return. Can you imagine all of the hurt and the pain that any of this would cause? You might be able to slightly, but the reality is that millions (if not billions) of people across the world during this time had to go through this hurt and pain day-in and day-out, not knowing when, if ever, it would end.
On this day, exactly one hundred years after the war was called to an end, we remember those who fought, but lost. We remember those who risked their own lives so that we could have a life of our own. We remember those who risked never seeing their family again so that we could see ours. We remember those who went to war with their friends, only to come back with none. We remember those who witnessed their friends and family members die right in front of their very eyes, yet had no time to grieve as they had to carry on fighting. We remember those who loved, only to have lost.
So remember those who fought, without ever thinking about themselves, just so that you could live your life how you live it today. Without them our lives would almost certainly be a completely different picture. History would be completely different and who knows what our lives today would be like: whether they be better or worse.
But, most importantly, we must remember: them.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 4 November 2018
What's on my Bucket List
Okay so I feel that this is a pretty standard post to do and I think that a lot of the things on this list are the stereotypical 'bucket list' items, however I just thought that I would share with you all some of what's on my bucket list just in case any of you might see something on here that you like the sound of and decide that it's something that you might want to do. I have also done it as something for me so that over the years I can look back on it and see which things I have/haven't done and tick them all off as I go along.
1. Travel the World
Okay, so this is DEFINITELY something that I think is on everyone's bucket list, however for as long as I can remember all I have ever wanted to do is to see and explore the world. I am from a very small town where there isn't much culture and all I have ever wanted to do is to experience a variety of different cultures where people's lives are much different to my own. The main places that I want to travel are Australia, America, Asia, Africa and parts of Europe. I get that some of these are, again, pretty standard but they are places that I have pretty much always wanted to go to. I did consider doing a bit of travelling this year instead of going to university and was planning on going to Australia and doing a bit of work there for six to nine months and then spending the rest of the year travelling around parts of Australia that I hadn't been to; as well as India, China, and Thailand.
2. Start a family
I get that this might be quite a weird thing to say, but I feel that I am a very maternal person. I have only ever dreamed of finding a guy who treats me well, has good career aspirations (and a guy who's fit 😉) who I eventually end up marrying, sharing a house, a dog, a cat, a family car and having our own little family together. I know that I am aiming pretty high here but I guess a girl can only dream and this is what I would like my life to be like by the time I am 40 AT THE LATEST!!! This is one of my main goals in life and I think that if I never achieved this then it is quite possibly the thing on this list that I would be most disappointed at myself with.
3. Achieve my dream career
Again, I feel that this is something that everyone wants to eventually be able to achieve, but this is something that is very important to me. Growing up, I have continuously been changing my mind about what profession I want to go into when I'm older, however over the last couple of years I have realised that I want to be in a job where I am working with children. As I am doing an Early Childhood Studies degree, this can lead me on to a variety of different professions that I could eventually go into involving children, with my two choices being between a teacher and a social worker. I am hoping that by the end of this degree I know which one I want to become so that I can pick the right postgraduate degree to take so that I can be one step closer to being in a job that I will happily wake up to go to each morning.
4. Do a bungee jump
For some completely strange and weird reason, ever since I can remember I have always wanted to do a bungee jump. I have absolutely no idea where this comes from as I am incredibly scared of heights and one of my worst fears is falling from something that's very high up; so putting both of these two things together probably means that if I do ever do this then it's going to be a very bad idea. However, I guess they say that you should try to conquer your fears so I guess that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to do that.
5. Do a sky dive
Again, this is probably something that I shouldn't be doing if I am terrified of heights and falling, however another thing that I have always wanted to do is a sky dive. Whenever I've seen other people doing them (such as on I'm a Celeb when they're entering the jungle) I have always been slightly jealous of the opportunity that they have been given and wish that it was me that was able to do that. If I do ever do a sky dive (this goes for a bungee jump as well) I would love to be able to do it for charity and wouldn't want to do it just for the sake of being able to say that I've done one. I would much prefer to be able to say that I have done a sky dive for a charity that means a lot to me and that I've been able to raise money for such a really great cause whilst doing something really out of my comfort zone.
These are the top five things on my bucket list. There are loads of other things on there, however if I put them all onto this post then it would be a very long post and for someone to actually sit down and read the whole thing would be very commendable. But if you would like to know some of the other things on my bucket list and would like me to do a part two, then please comment down below. Also let me know some of the things that are on your bucket list as I would love to hear them.
Love Beth xx
1. Travel the World
Okay, so this is DEFINITELY something that I think is on everyone's bucket list, however for as long as I can remember all I have ever wanted to do is to see and explore the world. I am from a very small town where there isn't much culture and all I have ever wanted to do is to experience a variety of different cultures where people's lives are much different to my own. The main places that I want to travel are Australia, America, Asia, Africa and parts of Europe. I get that some of these are, again, pretty standard but they are places that I have pretty much always wanted to go to. I did consider doing a bit of travelling this year instead of going to university and was planning on going to Australia and doing a bit of work there for six to nine months and then spending the rest of the year travelling around parts of Australia that I hadn't been to; as well as India, China, and Thailand.
2. Start a family
I get that this might be quite a weird thing to say, but I feel that I am a very maternal person. I have only ever dreamed of finding a guy who treats me well, has good career aspirations (and a guy who's fit 😉) who I eventually end up marrying, sharing a house, a dog, a cat, a family car and having our own little family together. I know that I am aiming pretty high here but I guess a girl can only dream and this is what I would like my life to be like by the time I am 40 AT THE LATEST!!! This is one of my main goals in life and I think that if I never achieved this then it is quite possibly the thing on this list that I would be most disappointed at myself with.
3. Achieve my dream career
Again, I feel that this is something that everyone wants to eventually be able to achieve, but this is something that is very important to me. Growing up, I have continuously been changing my mind about what profession I want to go into when I'm older, however over the last couple of years I have realised that I want to be in a job where I am working with children. As I am doing an Early Childhood Studies degree, this can lead me on to a variety of different professions that I could eventually go into involving children, with my two choices being between a teacher and a social worker. I am hoping that by the end of this degree I know which one I want to become so that I can pick the right postgraduate degree to take so that I can be one step closer to being in a job that I will happily wake up to go to each morning.
4. Do a bungee jump
For some completely strange and weird reason, ever since I can remember I have always wanted to do a bungee jump. I have absolutely no idea where this comes from as I am incredibly scared of heights and one of my worst fears is falling from something that's very high up; so putting both of these two things together probably means that if I do ever do this then it's going to be a very bad idea. However, I guess they say that you should try to conquer your fears so I guess that this would be the perfect opportunity for me to do that.
5. Do a sky dive
Again, this is probably something that I shouldn't be doing if I am terrified of heights and falling, however another thing that I have always wanted to do is a sky dive. Whenever I've seen other people doing them (such as on I'm a Celeb when they're entering the jungle) I have always been slightly jealous of the opportunity that they have been given and wish that it was me that was able to do that. If I do ever do a sky dive (this goes for a bungee jump as well) I would love to be able to do it for charity and wouldn't want to do it just for the sake of being able to say that I've done one. I would much prefer to be able to say that I have done a sky dive for a charity that means a lot to me and that I've been able to raise money for such a really great cause whilst doing something really out of my comfort zone.
These are the top five things on my bucket list. There are loads of other things on there, however if I put them all onto this post then it would be a very long post and for someone to actually sit down and read the whole thing would be very commendable. But if you would like to know some of the other things on my bucket list and would like me to do a part two, then please comment down below. Also let me know some of the things that are on your bucket list as I would love to hear them.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 28 October 2018
Is it okay to prefer staying home to going out?
Even though I am 18, I have found that I more often than not prefer staying at home to going out. I guess that this is partly due to me having social anxiety as I tend to find it quite awkward being around a load of people and tend to prefer being in my comfort zone (lying in my bed, alone, watching Netflix - it's a bit sad to be honest) instead of being out somewhere getting really drunk and putting my own safety in danger. Obviously nothing seriously bad has ever happened to me whilst I've been out (apart from a few nights of me violently throwing up everywhere) but, and I don't know what it is, I just really dislike going out.
I guess this is because I am used to being in an environment where the night life is fairly non-existent and being one of the oldest in my friendship group; meaning that none of my friends were old enough to go out drinking with me when I turned eighteen. However, now that all of my friends are eighteen and I'm at university in a city that has pretty good night life, you would have thought that I would have taken the most of this opportunity and gone out more. However, during fresher's week I only went out three, maybe four, times, whereas other people were going out every single night. Part of this is due to me going out one night and not feeling well enough to go out the next. Another part of it is due to the fresher's event that was on not really appealing to me. The final part of it is due to me preferring to stay in my comfort zone of being in my room with nutella and Netflix. However each night I've stayed in I've always wished I could be out with my friends having fun, but by the time I start feeling like I should be going out they've all either left or are in the process of leaving and there would be no chance that I would be able to get ready in time so just end up staying in.
I love going out. I enjoy the whole process of knowing that I'm going out that night and getting ready and finding the perfect thing to wear. I enjoy spending time with my friends and the games that we play at pre-drinks. I enjoy the fact that you can drink as much as you possibly can at pre's and not have to spend a penny while you're out - making for a really cheap night out. I enjoy going out for some food afterwards, slightly to try and soak up all the alcohol but mostly because we're all STARVING. I enjoy getting home between three and five in the morning and just being able to sleep in for the rest of the day and do absolutely nothing (unless I have a 9am the next morning, in which case going out the night before is definitely a bad idea and a past experience has proved that).
However, I also love staying at home. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to work out what time I have to start getting ready so that I'm ready in time for us all to go out. I enjoy being able to do my own thing and not having to worry about other's wanting to go and do something else. I enjoy being able to get into my pyjamas, get into bed and watch something on TV, whether it's one of my favourite shows, a boxset or a movie. I enjoy not having to worry that I'm going to end up drinking way more than I should and come home and throw up everywhere. I enjoy not having that feeling of my feet aching from dancing all night and hurting for the next few days after my night out.
Basically I love BOTH going on nights out and having nights in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or the other. I think that some people might pressure their friend(s) or make them feel bad about not wanting to go on nights out all the time (because believe me, I've been there) and this really shouldn't be made into such a big issue. If you are friends with someone who would rather stay in than go on a night out with you, respect their wishes and let them do whatever is best for them. They just might not fancy it, not have the money or there might be some sort of other reason why they don't want to go that they don't want to tell you about so the best thing that you can do is to let them make their own decision and not try and force them into doing anything that they don't want to do. Luckily for me I am not one of those people who feels like they have to go on nights out with their friends because they feel forced into it (even though they sometimes try and do that) and if I really don't feel up to going out for whatever reason then I'll just stay in instead. However I know other people who aren't like that and feel like they do have to go out even when they really don't want to just to try and please their friends.
If I'm being completely honest, I just don't understand why there is this big deal about it being weird if a young person doesn't enjoy going on nights out. I just don't understand why there is such a big deal about it being weird if there is anyone my age (18) or slightly older who doesn't enjoy, or go on that many, nights out because I really want to see it as a completely normal thing, however can't due to how society views it. So all-in-all, I think that it needs to stop being the 'norm' for young people to be out every Friday and Saturday night (and the other nights of the week if you're at university) and it needs to start being seen as acceptable for young people to want to stay in and rarely (if at all) go on a night out for whatever the reason may be.
So in answer to my question 'is it okay to prefer staying at home to going out?', the answer is yes. I don't see why there should be any reason for it to be seen as not okay for young people (well, anyone really) to stay at home instead of being out like everyone else. And if you have a problem with one (or more) of your friends preferring to stay at home instead of going on a night out with you and try and force them to change their mind, then maybe you should just stop, respect their wishes, and let them do whatever they want to do.
Love Beth xx
I guess this is because I am used to being in an environment where the night life is fairly non-existent and being one of the oldest in my friendship group; meaning that none of my friends were old enough to go out drinking with me when I turned eighteen. However, now that all of my friends are eighteen and I'm at university in a city that has pretty good night life, you would have thought that I would have taken the most of this opportunity and gone out more. However, during fresher's week I only went out three, maybe four, times, whereas other people were going out every single night. Part of this is due to me going out one night and not feeling well enough to go out the next. Another part of it is due to the fresher's event that was on not really appealing to me. The final part of it is due to me preferring to stay in my comfort zone of being in my room with nutella and Netflix. However each night I've stayed in I've always wished I could be out with my friends having fun, but by the time I start feeling like I should be going out they've all either left or are in the process of leaving and there would be no chance that I would be able to get ready in time so just end up staying in.
I love going out. I enjoy the whole process of knowing that I'm going out that night and getting ready and finding the perfect thing to wear. I enjoy spending time with my friends and the games that we play at pre-drinks. I enjoy the fact that you can drink as much as you possibly can at pre's and not have to spend a penny while you're out - making for a really cheap night out. I enjoy going out for some food afterwards, slightly to try and soak up all the alcohol but mostly because we're all STARVING. I enjoy getting home between three and five in the morning and just being able to sleep in for the rest of the day and do absolutely nothing (unless I have a 9am the next morning, in which case going out the night before is definitely a bad idea and a past experience has proved that).
However, I also love staying at home. I enjoy the fact that I don't have to work out what time I have to start getting ready so that I'm ready in time for us all to go out. I enjoy being able to do my own thing and not having to worry about other's wanting to go and do something else. I enjoy being able to get into my pyjamas, get into bed and watch something on TV, whether it's one of my favourite shows, a boxset or a movie. I enjoy not having to worry that I'm going to end up drinking way more than I should and come home and throw up everywhere. I enjoy not having that feeling of my feet aching from dancing all night and hurting for the next few days after my night out.
Basically I love BOTH going on nights out and having nights in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing one or the other. I think that some people might pressure their friend(s) or make them feel bad about not wanting to go on nights out all the time (because believe me, I've been there) and this really shouldn't be made into such a big issue. If you are friends with someone who would rather stay in than go on a night out with you, respect their wishes and let them do whatever is best for them. They just might not fancy it, not have the money or there might be some sort of other reason why they don't want to go that they don't want to tell you about so the best thing that you can do is to let them make their own decision and not try and force them into doing anything that they don't want to do. Luckily for me I am not one of those people who feels like they have to go on nights out with their friends because they feel forced into it (even though they sometimes try and do that) and if I really don't feel up to going out for whatever reason then I'll just stay in instead. However I know other people who aren't like that and feel like they do have to go out even when they really don't want to just to try and please their friends.
If I'm being completely honest, I just don't understand why there is this big deal about it being weird if a young person doesn't enjoy going on nights out. I just don't understand why there is such a big deal about it being weird if there is anyone my age (18) or slightly older who doesn't enjoy, or go on that many, nights out because I really want to see it as a completely normal thing, however can't due to how society views it. So all-in-all, I think that it needs to stop being the 'norm' for young people to be out every Friday and Saturday night (and the other nights of the week if you're at university) and it needs to start being seen as acceptable for young people to want to stay in and rarely (if at all) go on a night out for whatever the reason may be.
So in answer to my question 'is it okay to prefer staying at home to going out?', the answer is yes. I don't see why there should be any reason for it to be seen as not okay for young people (well, anyone really) to stay at home instead of being out like everyone else. And if you have a problem with one (or more) of your friends preferring to stay at home instead of going on a night out with you and try and force them to change their mind, then maybe you should just stop, respect their wishes, and let them do whatever they want to do.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 21 October 2018
My Top 10 Shows on Netflix
1. Safe
Safe is a gripping drama that had me hooked from the very first episode. It centres around Tom Delaney, who's teenage daughter Jenny goes missing. This case is particularly unusual as the community that they live in is completely gated and has security present 24/7. As well as this case, there are a number of different events going on, including the murder of Jenny's boyfriend - who was originally thought to have taken Jenny. During Tom's search for his daughter, with every person who he asks about his daughter's disappearance and whether or not they know anything, he manages to uncover a string of secrets that each of the residents of this community has. Be prepared for plenty of plot twists along the way as the kidnapper is not who you'd expect it to be - as well as there being a few other shocks that seem to come completely out of nowhere.
Rating - 9/10
2. GLOW
Rating - 9/10
2. GLOW
Glow was made by the creators of Orange is the New Black and is about the creation of women's wrestling (hence why GLOW stands for Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling). Set in the 1980s, the story follows Ruth Wilder, a woman who is struggling to make it as a successful actress in Los Angeles. After a fall-out with her best friend Debbie (who is also a successful, retired soap-opera star), Ruth auditions for an all-ladies wrestling show, created and directed by Sam Sylvia. After originally failing to make the cut due to her falling out with the director for over-acting, Ruth is eventually brought back, only to find that Sam has managed to persuade her ex-best friend Debbie to play a part in the show. The cast, Sam and producer 'Bash' set out to try and get the show on television in series one, and then fight for it's rights to stay in series two. An easy watch that is filled with both laughter and drama at the same time.
Rating - 8/10
3. Orange is the New Black
Orange is the New Black has been going for six seasons now and it is safe to say that it is still as funny and as gripping as it was in its first season. The first series mainly centres around Piper Chapman, however as the show progresses we start to learn more about the other characters and their past. Throughout the show there are many relationships, deaths, and more criminal activity and each episode/series always ends with you wanting more. Season five was definitely a favourite for many reasons (however I won't give away any spoilers for those of you who haven't watched it yet) and I presumed that season six would match that, and if not that it would top it. However, I found season six a struggle to watch at times and where in previous seasons it has taken me around three days to get through it, season six took me three or four weeks to watch. But don't be put off by that because it is still a good watch and comes highly recommended.
Rating - 7/10
4. Queer Eye
I'm just going to say this now... you CANNOT fault Queer Eye. It is an absolutely amazing documentary series that follows five gay guys (known as the 'fab five') around Atlanta, with their aim being to transform the lives of some very deserving people. Each of them works on different things to do with the person's life: Antoni is the food and wine expert, Tan is the fashion expert, Karamo is the culture and lifestyle expert, Bobby is the design expert, and Johnathon is the grooming expert. This show can bring tears of joy and happiness to anyone's eyes when you see how much this transformation means to the person who they have helped. A worthwhile watch that will definitely leave you wanting more episodes and is something that absolutely anyone will enjoy.
Rating - 10/10
5. Insatiable
This show is definitely one that has been hit with many controversies before it had even been released. But despite this, it is a really good show which is why it has made it onto this list. The show centres around a girl called Patty who used to be very overweight, however after an altercation with a homeless guy and being restricted to a liquid-only diet for three months, she returns to school having lost a load of weight. After meeting a guy called Bob Armstrong, Patty starts entering herself into pageants with the help of Bob - a disgraced lawyer and pageant coach. Although I can see where in some places the show is particularly offensive to certain groups of people, and despite some questionable acting, it is still an easy watch and something that I would 100% recommend that you watch.
Rating - 7/10
6. Riverdale
A very dark series, Riverdale certainly gets you gripped from the get-go. It centres around a group of high school students who are all linked into each other's lives in one way or another. They are aware of a presence, known as the 'black hood', who is causing trouble for the residents of Riverdale, and this group take it upon themselves to try and find out who is responsible for all of the mishaps that are going on. One thing I will say about this series is that at some point in series 2 I noticed that it seemed to have copied Pretty Little Liars when Betty kept on getting text messages and calls from the Black Hood (just like the girls in Pretty Little Liars did from 'A' and 'AD'). It is an incredibly cheesy show (especially when they randomly start singing - this isn't a musical) and the acting isn't exactly great, but it does have you hooked from the very first episode and leaves you wanting more (with this being a particular problem as they only release one episode a week).
Rating - 6/10
7. Pretty Little Liars
Pretty Little Liars is a TV series, where for the first few seasons it focuses on the whereabouts of teenager Alison - known as the leader of a group of five girls, including Spencer, Aria, Hannah, and Emily. An unknown person called 'A' texts them, blaming them for Alison's supposed death and the girls refused to believe that she is dead, despite her family holding a funeral for her. With there being a number of different 'A's', as well as the introduction of 'AD', we find ourselves watching the girls on their struggle to find out what really happened to their friend. This show is definitely gripping, however at times it is a struggle to watch and the show seemed to hit its peak from the end of season five to the start of season six; with the final episode also being particularly strange and a bit of a let down compared to what it could have been like.
Rating - 6.5/10
8. 13 Reasons Why
13 Reasons Why is a series that is breaking the taboo of self-harm and suicide amongst many teens across the globe. The first season focuses on the death of Hannah, who before her death had made thirteen tapes - one for each person who had affected her life in one way or another and claiming that the part that they played was a reason for her death. The second season focuses on the trial between Hannah's parents and the school that she went to, where her parents were suing the school for negligence and failing to help their daughter in her hour of need. This trial involves all of those who received the tapes, who have to tell Hannah's story. I had never found a fault in this series, other than some particularly graphic scenes in a few of the episodes (40 minutes into Tape 5 side A, 42 minutes into Tape 6 side B, and 32 minutes in series 2 episode 13).
Rating - 8/10
9. Stranger Things
Stranger Things is set in the 1980s and focuses on a group of boys who's friend goes missing one night after cycling home from his friend's gaming session. They have no idea what has happened to him, only to later find out that it was something from a parallel universe that took him. After he is found, in season two it is discovered that Will (the boy who went missing) is still being controlled by the thing that took him, so his friends and his family go on a quest to put an end to all of this once and for all. As well as all of this, a girl called Eleven comes into the boys' lives, however she is no ordinary girl as you will come to discover throughout the series. It's all really a question of whether or not they can defeat the monster, whilst all remaining alive.
Rating - 7/10
10. Peaky Blinders
Even though I have been trying as hard as I can to only stick to the shows that are only available to me on Netflix, I had to include Peaky Blinders in this list because I love it (plus the fact that I had run out of shows that I have watched that are only available to me on Netflix). Even though Netflix only has the first three series (there is a fourth series already out), I was gripped by every single second. It is set in the early 1900s in Birmingham, focusing on a gang family who don't do anything by halves and always have each other's backs no matter what. They have many rivals, however always manage to come out on top. Even though at times it is a struggle to watch, it is gripping from the start and is definitely a must-watch.
Rating - 8/10
Love Beth xx
Rating - 8/10
3. Orange is the New Black
Rating - 7/10
4. Queer Eye
Rating - 10/10
5. Insatiable
Rating - 7/10
6. Riverdale
Rating - 6/10
7. Pretty Little Liars
Rating - 6.5/10
8. 13 Reasons Why
Rating - 8/10
9. Stranger Things
Rating - 7/10
10. Peaky Blinders
Rating - 8/10
Love Beth xx
Sunday 14 October 2018
Is having divorced parents sometimes better?
As those of you who have been reading my blog for a while will know, my parents have been separated for almost four years now and eventually got divorced in August last year. At times dealing with this has definitely been challenging and is something that I would never want to put my kids through if I were to ever get married. Today I wanted to explore why, despite there seeming to be so many people saying that having divorced parents can affect kids negatively, having divorced parents can also be seen as being a positive thing.
For as long as I can remember, the whole of my parents marriage seemed to involve them arguing with one another whenever they were anywhere near one another. This atmosphere was always very toxic and as I grew older I became increasingly concerned about whether their marriage was going to survive and what that would mean for me and my brothers. It didn't seem to matter whether there was a happy occasion, such as a birthday, Christmas or anything else, they would always find something to argue about the minute one of them entered the room. This took it's toll on me and as devastated, angry and upset I was when my parents eventually broke it to me that they were going to get divorced, in some ways it was kind of a relief that I would no longer have to be surrounded by them constantly arguing with each other.
Obviously there are a lot of arguments that I (regrettably) can remember, however there is one time in particular that has stuck with me. At the time I was about seven and it was a Saturday morning and I was just casually sat on the sofa in the living room watching TV. My mum was somewhere in the house and my dad was outside working. I seem to remember my dad coming back in the house for one reason or another and that's when my mum and dad started having this full blown argument. I don't actually remember what they were arguing about, however what I do remember is my mum's face getting angrier and angrier by the second until she was basically purple in the face, to the point where she made me go upstairs to my room so that their argument could get even more heated. This was pretty pointless as in my old house you could hear what someone was saying from the other side of the house, even if they were whispering. So when my mum and dad were practically screaming at each other, I could definitely hear everything that they were arguing about.
One of the problems with having parents who argued all the time is that that type of 'love' is the only way I have ever known to 'love' somebody; which is probably why I often found myself unnecessarily having arguments with my ex-boyfriend over things that really shouldn't have mattered. I always knew that some of our arguments were often unnecessary and when they were I knew that I was taking things a bit too far in how I approached them and found myself constantly apologising for some of the things that I had said. I guess that part of that reason is from being in that environment where as my parents were married to one another and presumably 'in love', the way for me to show my love to someone was to constantly argue with them - which DEFINITELY isn't the case.
As they were constantly arguing with one another, this was an incredibly toxic place for me to be in and there were definitely a lot of times where I wished that they would just split up and get divorced. Admittedly, that's not what every child wants to happen to their parents, however after being in that environment for the majority of my life, it got to the point where I was just fed up of all the arguments and wanted to be able to have some calmness and tranquillity in my life. And if this meant my parents getting divorced, then so be it.
I'm not saying that having divorced parents is the best thing for everyone. Yes for me it's a slightly better situation than the one I used to be in, however having divorced parents is definitely difficult and challenging at times. You constantly feel like you are in the middle of any arguments that they do have with one another and find that one parent will tell you about all the horrible things about the other and vice versa. It's a never ending battle of feeling like you have to choose sides but not knowing which side to choose. Even though I'm glad my parents are divorced I do still wish that they were still together at times because it would make some aspects of my life a whole lot easier and less stressful and would mean that I wouldn't have to be constantly relaying messages between the two of them and having to listen to two completely different sides of the same story.
So in some aspects I wish that my parents were back together. But then I remember all the arguments and the fighting and I'm just so glad to not be in that situation anymore and am genuinely glad that my parents are divorced.
Let's get back to the question that I asked at the start of this post: is having divorced parents sometimes better?
Yes, at times it is. But is this the case for everyone? Absolutely not. I guess it just depends on your situation and whether you believe that it's better for you or not.
Let me know in the comments below what you think. Is having divorced parents sometimes better? You decide.
Love Beth xx
For as long as I can remember, the whole of my parents marriage seemed to involve them arguing with one another whenever they were anywhere near one another. This atmosphere was always very toxic and as I grew older I became increasingly concerned about whether their marriage was going to survive and what that would mean for me and my brothers. It didn't seem to matter whether there was a happy occasion, such as a birthday, Christmas or anything else, they would always find something to argue about the minute one of them entered the room. This took it's toll on me and as devastated, angry and upset I was when my parents eventually broke it to me that they were going to get divorced, in some ways it was kind of a relief that I would no longer have to be surrounded by them constantly arguing with each other.
Obviously there are a lot of arguments that I (regrettably) can remember, however there is one time in particular that has stuck with me. At the time I was about seven and it was a Saturday morning and I was just casually sat on the sofa in the living room watching TV. My mum was somewhere in the house and my dad was outside working. I seem to remember my dad coming back in the house for one reason or another and that's when my mum and dad started having this full blown argument. I don't actually remember what they were arguing about, however what I do remember is my mum's face getting angrier and angrier by the second until she was basically purple in the face, to the point where she made me go upstairs to my room so that their argument could get even more heated. This was pretty pointless as in my old house you could hear what someone was saying from the other side of the house, even if they were whispering. So when my mum and dad were practically screaming at each other, I could definitely hear everything that they were arguing about.
One of the problems with having parents who argued all the time is that that type of 'love' is the only way I have ever known to 'love' somebody; which is probably why I often found myself unnecessarily having arguments with my ex-boyfriend over things that really shouldn't have mattered. I always knew that some of our arguments were often unnecessary and when they were I knew that I was taking things a bit too far in how I approached them and found myself constantly apologising for some of the things that I had said. I guess that part of that reason is from being in that environment where as my parents were married to one another and presumably 'in love', the way for me to show my love to someone was to constantly argue with them - which DEFINITELY isn't the case.
As they were constantly arguing with one another, this was an incredibly toxic place for me to be in and there were definitely a lot of times where I wished that they would just split up and get divorced. Admittedly, that's not what every child wants to happen to their parents, however after being in that environment for the majority of my life, it got to the point where I was just fed up of all the arguments and wanted to be able to have some calmness and tranquillity in my life. And if this meant my parents getting divorced, then so be it.
I'm not saying that having divorced parents is the best thing for everyone. Yes for me it's a slightly better situation than the one I used to be in, however having divorced parents is definitely difficult and challenging at times. You constantly feel like you are in the middle of any arguments that they do have with one another and find that one parent will tell you about all the horrible things about the other and vice versa. It's a never ending battle of feeling like you have to choose sides but not knowing which side to choose. Even though I'm glad my parents are divorced I do still wish that they were still together at times because it would make some aspects of my life a whole lot easier and less stressful and would mean that I wouldn't have to be constantly relaying messages between the two of them and having to listen to two completely different sides of the same story.
So in some aspects I wish that my parents were back together. But then I remember all the arguments and the fighting and I'm just so glad to not be in that situation anymore and am genuinely glad that my parents are divorced.
Let's get back to the question that I asked at the start of this post: is having divorced parents sometimes better?
Yes, at times it is. But is this the case for everyone? Absolutely not. I guess it just depends on your situation and whether you believe that it's better for you or not.
Let me know in the comments below what you think. Is having divorced parents sometimes better? You decide.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 7 October 2018
Choosing the right University for you
As I embark on my newest adventure of starting university, I thought that I would write a post on my experience of trying to find the right university for me as a way of trying to give you my first-hand experience with this; as well as telling you a few things that I wish I had done differently, either when it came to looking at university's or the application process.
I first started looking at universities a few months towards the end of year 12. At first it wasn't so much about finding the right university as it was more to do with looking at different courses in an area that I was interested in working in and comparing the content of each course with each university. My original choice (and one of the first courses that I looked at) was a child development course at the University of South Wales. I had never heard of this university before and when I mentioned it to a few of my teacher's they thought I meant a university that was in South Wales, so I guess that they had never heard of it either. This remained a firm favourite and started off with being my first choice for quite some time. However as time went on, I found a few other courses that took my interest (either childhood studies or early childhood studies) and started to find myself preferring them over my original choice.
When I first started thinking about applying for university, my original decision was to choose ones that were far away from home because I knew that I would be too tempted to go home quite a lot if I went to a university that was reasonably close to home. I mainly wanted to go to university in Wales because for some reason I really like it there and the Welsh accent is one of my favourites. I was also looking at going to university in Liverpool and further south in Southampton. But like when it came to choosing a course, the further the process of looking for universities moved on, the more I found myself preferring to go to a university that was a bit closer to home and in an area that was slightly familiar to me. So that's why I decided to choose Birmingham because it's less than an hour away from where I live and I go there at least once a year so I kind of know it, although as it's completely different from my home town (which is very small and Birmingham is the second largest city in the UK) I know I will very easily get lost.
One thing I regret about my university application process was the fact that I didn't actually go and look at many of the universities that I was planning on applying to. This was a really stupid decision as it's a good idea to go and look around as many universities as possible so that you can compare them all and choose the one that appealed to you the most; as well as getting to know who your lecturers are going to be and at least having some idea of where about's your campus is and possibly what your accommodation is like. In my defence I was going to go to a couple of open days, however on the days that were available I was either busy or didn't know how I was going to get there so couldn't go. I get that this is a pretty poor excuse but I guess that I was scared of the unknown as I had no idea what was going to happen and I started feeling quite anxious about the whole thing. I did go to an open day for the university that I am going to at the end of June this year and I'm so glad I went because I was able to get an idea of the area that my campus is based at and got to take a look at where I am going to be staying and I am fairly impressed by both of them. But I would definitely say start looking at universities early (as soon as the first open days begin which is around June - so towards the end of year 12) because this way you can look at them months in advance of you needing to send off your UCAS application and will be able to make a much more informed decision that way.
I think I should make it clear to anyone who is looking at going to university: DO NOT pick a university just because one or a few of your friends are going there. I get that you don't want to be in an unfamiliar place where at first you don't know anyone (because believe me I'm writing this before I've even started university and I feel just like that) but everyone else is going to be feeling exactly the same as you. If you are going somewhere just because one of your friend's is going there then it is possible that you might find that you won't enjoy yourself as much as you would have done if you had gone somewhere that you actually wanted to go to; regardless of whether any of your friends were going there or not. Plus, if you did go somewhere that at least one of your friends was going to then you might find that you are clinging on to each other and don't bother trying to make any friends because you feel that you've already got a friend(s) and don't need anyone else. There are ways that you can make friends or at least get to know the people that you are going to be at university with before you get there as there are plenty of Facebook and WhatsApp groups and group chats, whether this be for your course, accommodation, university, or for a selection of universities that are all in the same city/area.
That's everything I feel that I can give you advice on when it comes to picking universities. At some point I might do a post on the application process and what that entails so let me know in the comments below if you'd like me to do a post based on this. Also please let me know if there are any other topics that you'd like me to do a post about and I will try my hardest to do that for you. And if there is anything that you want to talk to me about, please feel free to email or DM me. My contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.
Thank you very much for reading this post. Good luck to anyone like me who is starting university or who is maybe going into their second or third year (or any other year if your course is longer than three years). Also good luck to anyone who is starting their application process or who has just started sixth form as I know all too well how challenging it gets - but if I can get through it then you can to.
Love Beth xx
I first started looking at universities a few months towards the end of year 12. At first it wasn't so much about finding the right university as it was more to do with looking at different courses in an area that I was interested in working in and comparing the content of each course with each university. My original choice (and one of the first courses that I looked at) was a child development course at the University of South Wales. I had never heard of this university before and when I mentioned it to a few of my teacher's they thought I meant a university that was in South Wales, so I guess that they had never heard of it either. This remained a firm favourite and started off with being my first choice for quite some time. However as time went on, I found a few other courses that took my interest (either childhood studies or early childhood studies) and started to find myself preferring them over my original choice.
When I first started thinking about applying for university, my original decision was to choose ones that were far away from home because I knew that I would be too tempted to go home quite a lot if I went to a university that was reasonably close to home. I mainly wanted to go to university in Wales because for some reason I really like it there and the Welsh accent is one of my favourites. I was also looking at going to university in Liverpool and further south in Southampton. But like when it came to choosing a course, the further the process of looking for universities moved on, the more I found myself preferring to go to a university that was a bit closer to home and in an area that was slightly familiar to me. So that's why I decided to choose Birmingham because it's less than an hour away from where I live and I go there at least once a year so I kind of know it, although as it's completely different from my home town (which is very small and Birmingham is the second largest city in the UK) I know I will very easily get lost.
One thing I regret about my university application process was the fact that I didn't actually go and look at many of the universities that I was planning on applying to. This was a really stupid decision as it's a good idea to go and look around as many universities as possible so that you can compare them all and choose the one that appealed to you the most; as well as getting to know who your lecturers are going to be and at least having some idea of where about's your campus is and possibly what your accommodation is like. In my defence I was going to go to a couple of open days, however on the days that were available I was either busy or didn't know how I was going to get there so couldn't go. I get that this is a pretty poor excuse but I guess that I was scared of the unknown as I had no idea what was going to happen and I started feeling quite anxious about the whole thing. I did go to an open day for the university that I am going to at the end of June this year and I'm so glad I went because I was able to get an idea of the area that my campus is based at and got to take a look at where I am going to be staying and I am fairly impressed by both of them. But I would definitely say start looking at universities early (as soon as the first open days begin which is around June - so towards the end of year 12) because this way you can look at them months in advance of you needing to send off your UCAS application and will be able to make a much more informed decision that way.
I think I should make it clear to anyone who is looking at going to university: DO NOT pick a university just because one or a few of your friends are going there. I get that you don't want to be in an unfamiliar place where at first you don't know anyone (because believe me I'm writing this before I've even started university and I feel just like that) but everyone else is going to be feeling exactly the same as you. If you are going somewhere just because one of your friend's is going there then it is possible that you might find that you won't enjoy yourself as much as you would have done if you had gone somewhere that you actually wanted to go to; regardless of whether any of your friends were going there or not. Plus, if you did go somewhere that at least one of your friends was going to then you might find that you are clinging on to each other and don't bother trying to make any friends because you feel that you've already got a friend(s) and don't need anyone else. There are ways that you can make friends or at least get to know the people that you are going to be at university with before you get there as there are plenty of Facebook and WhatsApp groups and group chats, whether this be for your course, accommodation, university, or for a selection of universities that are all in the same city/area.
That's everything I feel that I can give you advice on when it comes to picking universities. At some point I might do a post on the application process and what that entails so let me know in the comments below if you'd like me to do a post based on this. Also please let me know if there are any other topics that you'd like me to do a post about and I will try my hardest to do that for you. And if there is anything that you want to talk to me about, please feel free to email or DM me. My contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.
Thank you very much for reading this post. Good luck to anyone like me who is starting university or who is maybe going into their second or third year (or any other year if your course is longer than three years). Also good luck to anyone who is starting their application process or who has just started sixth form as I know all too well how challenging it gets - but if I can get through it then you can to.
Love Beth xx
Sunday 30 September 2018
Players Gonna Play
Girls, (and probably boys as well) we have all at some point in our lives come across someone who we really liked and thought that they felt the same way about us as well. At the time it seemed as though we were the only person who they wanted to be with (as that was how we felt) and we found ourselves falling in love. Except the only thing preventing this from happening was the fact that it was only us who felt like that and it turns out that they were interested in a lot of other people, and we were at the bottom of their list when it came to choosing someone to be their partner.
This is how I felt a couple of years ago by some boy who was in my year at school. He was the first person that I can ever really remember properly liking and the fact that he made it out that he liked me back made me feel like no one could ever stop me and that at one point or another our 'talking' would turn into something more. Except he never thought like that and when it got to a point where I thought he might actually ask me to be his girlfriend, it turned out that he had been 'talking' with a load of other girls and had just asked out some other girl.
I wanted to talk about this today because I believe that leading someone on and messing with their feelings is something that should never be done and if you are one of those people who does that then I specifically want you to carry on and read the rest of this post so that you can get some sort of understanding of how it makes those who you lead on feel; because it is a really horrible feeling to feel as led on as I did and I don't want anyone else to feel anything like I did because it is truly one of the worst feelings that you could ever possibly feel. I also want anyone who has ever been led on (or just anyone in general really) to carry on reading this post so that you know that you are not alone in what you have gone/are going through.
It started in year 11. We both took one of the same GCSE classes in that year and our paths had never crossed before that time and if I'm honest I really liked him from the moment I met him. We just seemed to click straight away and he made me feel a way that no one has ever made me feel before.
He used to have these cute little nicknames that he used to call me (none of which will be put on here for privacy and confidentiality reasons) and that was one of the things that made me feel like I was actually a special person in his life.
At first we could definitely have only ever been considered as being friends because we only ever really spoke either in lesson or whenever we saw one another around school and didn't ever really speak outside of that environment or in a way that could be made out as us being something more than friends to one another. But I can remember that first day when we did start talking to each other outside of school and remember it almost as if it was yesterday.
It was a Saturday. I'm a deep sleeper and tend to sleep in quite a lot and I remember being woken up to the sound of my phone going off. It was a message. From him. He asked me if we had any homework for the subject that we were both in together. I thought that this was a little odd because 1) he'd never asked me if we'd had any homework before, 2) it was a Saturday, and 3) it was reasonably early in the morning - and all of these things put together do not equal doing homework or asking me that question (unless you're really dedicated to your schoolwork which, believe me, neither of us ever were). So I just told him that I didn't think that we did, he asked me how I was and the conversation went from there. We spoke for a reasonable amount of the day about anything and everything. We didn't really speak outside of school again for one reason or another until almost a week later; after which we spoke to each other practically all day every day for around six weeks.
After this, it somehow became known around our year that we were talking to each other and we both had people telling us that we should start going out with each other. Except the thing was that we both kept ignoring what everyone was saying and just carried on like everything was normal. Whenever one of us said to the other 'oh, so-and-so said that you like me' or 'this person said we should be together', the other would somehow go around it and try to avoid saying how we really felt about the other person. I guess this can be said as being part of the problem of why we never ended up being together because we were never honest with each other about how we felt about one another. However, I never told him about how I really felt because I was scared that he wouldn't feel the same and that I would be making a fool of myself by telling him that I liked him. And I guess I now know why he never told me that he liked me - because he was too busy talking to other girls and leading all of us on without any of us realising.
What was the most annoying about this whole thing is the fact that when he did get a girlfriend when I still thought that he liked me and when I did eventually find out about it a couple of weeks later and questioned him on it, he didn't even have the audacity to explain his actions. Then a few days later he popped up to me and started talking to me normally and never even mentioned the fact that he had a girlfriend or that he was sorry about what happened and tried to talk to me like normal, almost as if we had never really stopped talking. Then when they did break up (they were together for about a month) he popped up to me again, really late at night, said that him and his girlfriend had broken up and asking if we could talk.
This became a regular occurrence. He would be talking to me, get a girlfriend, they'd break up, and then he'd come crawling back to me because he knew I'd always be there for him. I guess that that was the problem with me (and still is). He knew that no matter how many times he found someone else and wanted to be with them, if things went wrong then he could always come back to me and would find that I would always be willing to have him back. This has been going on for two years now. And will I ever change? Probably not. Why? Because I'm too forgiving and when he is talking to me he makes me feel as if I'm wanted and that he does genuinely like me and wants to be with me.
Players need to stop doing what they do. Players need to stop leading people on, making them feel like they love them (or at least like them), and then start going out with someone else and leave that person feeling like they were never good enough and that no one else will ever want to be with them. It's a really horrible feeling, kind of like I was cheated on, only obviously not as bad.
I guess that most players are guys because you're seen as a 'lad' by the amount of girls that you can get and NOT by the fact that you only get one absolutely amazing girl and stay with her because you love her. I don't like this attitude in society and think that it's a really stupid one to have. So if any guys are reading this who have more than one girl on the go at the moment (or have done in the past), please think about what you are doing to all of their feelings because it is one of the worst feelings ever to feel like you were never really wanted by someone all that much in the first place (the same applies to any girls who are players as well).
Have you got any stories of a time when someone 'played' you? Well I would love to hear them (but you obviously don't have to if you don't want to) so please feel free to either comment them down below, send me a DM on twitter, or email me. All of my contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.
I hope that this post has made anyone who has ever been involved with a player before realise that they are not alone in how they may have felt/are feeling. I also hope that anyone who is reading this who is a player has realised how their actions can make others feel and that they are now only going to talk to one person at a time and not lead anyone on.
Love Beth xx
This is how I felt a couple of years ago by some boy who was in my year at school. He was the first person that I can ever really remember properly liking and the fact that he made it out that he liked me back made me feel like no one could ever stop me and that at one point or another our 'talking' would turn into something more. Except he never thought like that and when it got to a point where I thought he might actually ask me to be his girlfriend, it turned out that he had been 'talking' with a load of other girls and had just asked out some other girl.
I wanted to talk about this today because I believe that leading someone on and messing with their feelings is something that should never be done and if you are one of those people who does that then I specifically want you to carry on and read the rest of this post so that you can get some sort of understanding of how it makes those who you lead on feel; because it is a really horrible feeling to feel as led on as I did and I don't want anyone else to feel anything like I did because it is truly one of the worst feelings that you could ever possibly feel. I also want anyone who has ever been led on (or just anyone in general really) to carry on reading this post so that you know that you are not alone in what you have gone/are going through.
It started in year 11. We both took one of the same GCSE classes in that year and our paths had never crossed before that time and if I'm honest I really liked him from the moment I met him. We just seemed to click straight away and he made me feel a way that no one has ever made me feel before.
He used to have these cute little nicknames that he used to call me (none of which will be put on here for privacy and confidentiality reasons) and that was one of the things that made me feel like I was actually a special person in his life.
At first we could definitely have only ever been considered as being friends because we only ever really spoke either in lesson or whenever we saw one another around school and didn't ever really speak outside of that environment or in a way that could be made out as us being something more than friends to one another. But I can remember that first day when we did start talking to each other outside of school and remember it almost as if it was yesterday.
It was a Saturday. I'm a deep sleeper and tend to sleep in quite a lot and I remember being woken up to the sound of my phone going off. It was a message. From him. He asked me if we had any homework for the subject that we were both in together. I thought that this was a little odd because 1) he'd never asked me if we'd had any homework before, 2) it was a Saturday, and 3) it was reasonably early in the morning - and all of these things put together do not equal doing homework or asking me that question (unless you're really dedicated to your schoolwork which, believe me, neither of us ever were). So I just told him that I didn't think that we did, he asked me how I was and the conversation went from there. We spoke for a reasonable amount of the day about anything and everything. We didn't really speak outside of school again for one reason or another until almost a week later; after which we spoke to each other practically all day every day for around six weeks.
After this, it somehow became known around our year that we were talking to each other and we both had people telling us that we should start going out with each other. Except the thing was that we both kept ignoring what everyone was saying and just carried on like everything was normal. Whenever one of us said to the other 'oh, so-and-so said that you like me' or 'this person said we should be together', the other would somehow go around it and try to avoid saying how we really felt about the other person. I guess this can be said as being part of the problem of why we never ended up being together because we were never honest with each other about how we felt about one another. However, I never told him about how I really felt because I was scared that he wouldn't feel the same and that I would be making a fool of myself by telling him that I liked him. And I guess I now know why he never told me that he liked me - because he was too busy talking to other girls and leading all of us on without any of us realising.
What was the most annoying about this whole thing is the fact that when he did get a girlfriend when I still thought that he liked me and when I did eventually find out about it a couple of weeks later and questioned him on it, he didn't even have the audacity to explain his actions. Then a few days later he popped up to me and started talking to me normally and never even mentioned the fact that he had a girlfriend or that he was sorry about what happened and tried to talk to me like normal, almost as if we had never really stopped talking. Then when they did break up (they were together for about a month) he popped up to me again, really late at night, said that him and his girlfriend had broken up and asking if we could talk.
This became a regular occurrence. He would be talking to me, get a girlfriend, they'd break up, and then he'd come crawling back to me because he knew I'd always be there for him. I guess that that was the problem with me (and still is). He knew that no matter how many times he found someone else and wanted to be with them, if things went wrong then he could always come back to me and would find that I would always be willing to have him back. This has been going on for two years now. And will I ever change? Probably not. Why? Because I'm too forgiving and when he is talking to me he makes me feel as if I'm wanted and that he does genuinely like me and wants to be with me.
Players need to stop doing what they do. Players need to stop leading people on, making them feel like they love them (or at least like them), and then start going out with someone else and leave that person feeling like they were never good enough and that no one else will ever want to be with them. It's a really horrible feeling, kind of like I was cheated on, only obviously not as bad.
I guess that most players are guys because you're seen as a 'lad' by the amount of girls that you can get and NOT by the fact that you only get one absolutely amazing girl and stay with her because you love her. I don't like this attitude in society and think that it's a really stupid one to have. So if any guys are reading this who have more than one girl on the go at the moment (or have done in the past), please think about what you are doing to all of their feelings because it is one of the worst feelings ever to feel like you were never really wanted by someone all that much in the first place (the same applies to any girls who are players as well).
Have you got any stories of a time when someone 'played' you? Well I would love to hear them (but you obviously don't have to if you don't want to) so please feel free to either comment them down below, send me a DM on twitter, or email me. All of my contact details are in the contacts tab at the top of the page.
I hope that this post has made anyone who has ever been involved with a player before realise that they are not alone in how they may have felt/are feeling. I also hope that anyone who is reading this who is a player has realised how their actions can make others feel and that they are now only going to talk to one person at a time and not lead anyone on.
Love Beth xx
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