Sunday 20 December 2015

The True Meaning of Christmas

Hi everyone!

First of all, I know I normally update on a Saturday but my wifi hasn't been working and isn't getting fixed until Tuesday. What makes it even more annoying is that because my wifi hasn't been working, my laptop has decided that it's not going to connect to any internet I can get. So, for today only, I'm having to write this post on my phone.

So today it's my weekly Saturday update (let's just pretend it's a Saturday. Saturday's are my favourite day of the week).

Anyway, let's get back to the whole point of this post. Today I am going to be exploring the true meaning of Christmas. Because, guess what? It's only 5 days until Christmas and probably my last post until after Christmas.

I do love Christmas. I love the presents and I love that I can eat all day without a care. However, Christmas is probably, in my case, the one day of the year where the whole family get together.

I have to admit, I don't always like this. There's always loads of people in your house and never anywhere for you to sit. There is always very little space around the table so you have to battle for a seat at the end of the table where there is more room. And in general, you can feel yourself occasionally being left out of conversation.

This doesn't always happen to me on Christmas Day. This year there's going to be six of us (me, my brothers, my mum and my Nan and grandad).

On my dads side of the family, we always have a little family get together sometime between Boxing Day and New Year's Eve. This is probably the one day of the year that I hate the most. I sometimes hate it more than school and exams. And I hate those things.

I think the problem with family is that you're never going to get on. There's going to be arguments. You're going to get annoyed with one another. For example last year we had this get together at my
Grans and because there wasn't enough space at the table, me, my brothers and my dad ended up having to eat our lunch in the living room. In my opinion I felt like it was because they'd all rather be together than with us. I think it was because about two years ago they all went out to dinner but never invited us to go.

But back to family at Christmas. They are annoying. Likelihood is that they'll annoy you all year round. But at the end of the day, they're the only people guaranteed to stay with you for the rest of your life. Other people may leave you but family won't.

And you never know when one of them is going to go. So spend time with your family this Christmas  and don't miss out on the opportunity to see them because the unexpected could happen at any moment. I'm speaking from experience. And it wasn't nice. You end up regretting not going to see them when you could.

So as much as you might hate them, make sure to spend plenty of time with your family this Christmas. And if you don't spend enough time with them throughout the year, try and make it your New Years resolution. I know I will be.

Love Beth xx

Saturday 28 November 2015

Eating Out

Hey everyone!

So today's post is on an issue that I have had for about two and a half years now. I haven't come across anyone who also has this issue before which is why I want to tell you all about it because I want to see if anyone else also has it. That issue is eating out.

Now you may be thinking what's her problem? What's wrong with eating out? I'll tell you what's wrong. It annoys me that whenever I go out somewhere to eat, the majority of the time I will be less than half way through my meal and I start to feel really sick and can't eat any more.

There's never anything wrong with the food. The food is always really nice. I don't know what it is that makes me feel like this. And I hate it. I hate the fact that I can't go out for a meal, not even with my family, friends and just people who I feel comfortable with in general, without not being able to finish a meal. I always end up having to get up and leave because I fear that if I stay in the room any longer I'm either going to be sick or I'm going to start having some sort of anxiety or panic attack.

I hate being like this. My mum and dad both know that I feel like this (they don't know about my anxiety) so I always have to make sure I'm sat by one of them so that if I do start to feel sick I can tell one of them and they'll make some sort of excuse for me to leave. Most of the time it's she's feeling a little ill. We're going to go and sit outside for a bit. Problem is, I always feel really anxious about getting out of these situations, as much as I want to get out of them, and it gets to the point where I'll either leg it or slowly start to remove myself from the table. Sometimes I won't even say anything about it and I'll just sit there and pretend nothing's wrong and if anyone asks me why I'm not eating, I'll tell them that I'm full.

It's slightly worse when I'm with friends. I don't normally get this sick feeling when I'm with my friends so it's normally alright but when I do, there's no mum or dad for me to tell so I can go outside. I'll usually just try and sit there and take short, deep little breaths but try and make it so that it's not noticeable by them. I'll either do that or go to the toilets and try to calm myself down.

I hate what's going on with my life and I just wish it could all stop. I have googled about this sick feeling but nothing's come up. I guess that's why I haven't been to the doctor's because it seems like it's just me that's going through this so it can't be that bad. Right?

If any of you also get this sick feeling please comment below if you know what it is or if you have any advice for me about what I can do in these situations. Even if you don't get this sick feeling but have some advice I'd still love to hear it so please comment below. Or you can tweet/DM me on twitter @teenagelifebeth or email me if you really want to teenagelifebeth@gmail.com

Love Beth xx

Saturday 21 November 2015

Being a Lifestyle Blogger

Hey everybody!

First of all, at the moment I'm kind of struggling for ideas about what I'm going to write about in my posts.  If you have any ideas about what I could write about or have a particular subject that you want me to talk about then please let me know either in the comments below, on twitter @teenagelifebeth or by emailing me teenagelifebeth@gmail.com.

Moving on, for today's post I am going to be telling you what it's like being a lifestyle blogger, what it involves and how you can be one too.

What it's like
Being a lifestyle blogger is great. It's a way for you to talk about everyday life and give people advice from your own experiences in order to help them. What makes it great is that every lifestyle blogger will talk about a different subject because of what they've experienced and even if you and someone else have gone through the same thing, you both have different advice to people who are also experiencing it so they can try different things to get through it. I love being a lifestyle blogger because every post to me is different and I love every week being able to tell you all about what's happened since I last updated my blog and talking about everything I've experienced. What makes it better is that even though I'm the one mostly giving advice, I sometimes get you guys giving me advice too, even if it's something I've put on twitter, and that really helps me.

What it involves
Being a lifestyle blogger involves you telling your readers about life in general. It's always better if you tell them about your own experiences of a subject instead of something that you've never experienced because you can't really give your readers advice if they're going through it. With my posts I always write from the heart and from my own experiences so that you, the reader, can really relate to me and also so that I can relate to any of you who have also experienced what I've experienced.
                     Being a blogger also involves social media quite a lot of the time as it's a way to attract more readers to your blog. If you are a blogger but don't advertise your blog on social media then I would recommend doing so as if I didn't post links from my blog on twitter, there is no way I'd have half the amount of readers as I do now. I think the main social media to get for your blog is twitter as you can use a lot more hash tags and there's also weekly chats which help publicise your blog even more.  As of now I do only have twitter for my blog but pretty soon I am going to make a page for my blog on facebook.
                                    But it's not all about publicising your blog on social media as this is also a way to interact with your followers and readers if you include stuff about you as well; such as something that happened that day and even if it's just telling your followers what you're watching, you'll find that more people will start loving you and even go and read your blog if you interact with them.

How YOU can be a lifestyle blogger
Being a lifestyle blogger doesn't take much. It just involves you talking about everyday life. If you're only in it because you want to gain followers or want to try and become famous somehow then this isn't for you. At the end of the day, even if I only have one reader of my blog then I'll still update if it means I'm helping one person. Don't be one of those people who tells they're followers that you're only going to update if you get a certain amount of reads or comments because that makes you come across as someone who's only in it for the fame and doesn't really care.
               You also only need to be yourself on here. In all my posts and on social media I am the real me and not someone who people see me as in school, which is what makes more people love you and want to read you're blog.

I hope this has helped some of you understand what being a lifestyle blogger really is and how you can be one to. If you have any questions either; comment below, mention/DM me on twitter @teenagelifebeth or email me teenagelifebeth@gmail.com.

Thank you for reading!

Love Beth xx


Wednesday 18 November 2015

Subject: DIVORCE

Hey!

For today's post I wanted to talk about something that's going on in my life at the moment and I know it's not just me experiencing it as it happens to a lot of kids every year. That is, my parents getting a divorce.

I guess in some ways I'm kind of happy that my parents are divorcing because they were constantly arguing, day and night, and it always used to make me really upset and just want to hide in my bedroom and not come out until everything was calm again.

On the other hand, it's kind of scary that they're getting a divorce. I guess it's because of the fact that I now live with my mum so at times when I need my dad to help me with something (especially getting rid of spiders and maths homework) he's not really around that much any more and I'm just finding the whole process of their divorce hard to deal with.

I guess I have had time to get used to the idea. Around this time last year me, my mum and my brothers moved in with my uncle (my mums brother) because, and as my mum put it, "we're moving in with your uncle and your dad's staying at home because he needs to sort the house out" (I can't remember exactly what she said). When she first said we were moving out I thought she was going to say it was because her and my dad were getting a divorce and I got really panicked about that thought and I felt really sick from that day (a Friday) to Monday. Especially Monday as some people seemed to have a more clear idea about why I was living at my uncles and it made me think they knew something I didn't.

This March I was packing to go to Disneyland on a school trip and in the suitcase I was using I found a folder that said something about a solicitor's. Me, being the nosey person I am, opened the folder only to see something that confirmed my fears. I remember reading subject:DIVORCE and I got so angry for some reason that I threw the folder across the room and sat on my bed and cried. I guess I was angry about the fact that I had been lied to for months.

I never told my parents about me finding out. I guess I was too scared to. Plus, part of me wanted to wait and see how long it would take them to tell me. The answer - 6 MONTHS!

Around the end of September, my dad told me that my mum wanted a divorce from him. Obviously, me finding out 6 months before hand, I acted like I couldn't care less. Then he asked me and my brother if we already knew. I said yeah but didn't tell him how I knew. Turns out my brother knew as well. His friend had overheard a conversation between his mum and my mum about it.

I know that everyone's experience with their parents getting a divorce is different but it's kind of the same in that everyone takes a certain amount of time to realise that, at the end of the day, everything's going to be fine. Yes, your parents may be getting a divorce but it doesn't mean they don't love you any less. It will take time for you to get over it, but in the end you're okay because you realise that this happens to many people. And, in some cases, your parents will argue less and sometimes even not at all.

I used to like the fact that my parents were together as it felt like it was making my life easier with things such as Christmas and birthdays as I hardly had to worry about anything. Yes, the whole thing is scary but I'm just glad that it makes my parents happy. The subject hasn't been mentioned since the day my dad told me, which is great. And my parents can be in the same room together and hardly ever argue (come on, I've got to let them have a little argument here and there).

This whole experience has been tough and what would've made it easier would be if I had someone who I could talk to about the whole thing. If you want to talk to me about ANYTHING, whether it's to do with today's post, another post or life in general, please don't be afraid to contact me. My twitter is @teenagelifebeth and my email is teenagelifebeth@gmail.com so feel free to talk to me any time and I'll always answer you.

Love Beth xx

Saturday 7 November 2015

Life

Hi all!

So yesterday at school we had this workshop during our core/re lesson which I don't properly understand what it was about, however it was very interesting.

We were split into 3 groups and had to go round different stations. 

The first was a long piece of paper and we all had to either write or draw on it what we think represents life. I wrote life = school, stress & music because it's true isn't it? 

Life = school because that's all we ever seem to do. We pretty much go to school for 6 hours a day, 5                       days a week and we always have homework to do at the weekend and never seem to                             have time for a social life.

Life = stress because of school. They pressure us with exams and give us unnecessary tests in class                          and then have a go at us if we fail. Yet when we fail, it's always automatically our fault                        and that we never revised properly and never seems to be the teachers fault. 

Life = music because music helps us get through anything and everything. The right song creates the                        right mood and it doesn't matter what song it is, we all seem to be able to relate to the                          lyrics in one way or another.

On the second one, there was a few different things around the room where we could write about anything going on in our lives. The first thing I went to was where we had to write a question about life. I wrote why is life already really complicated at this age? The next thing was where there are a load of stones and you pick one up and have to write one word on it to do with your life. I wrote anxiety because those of you who are regular readers will know that I have anxiety. The next was where you have a post-it note and you have to write some kind of thanks on it and stick it on a board. I wrote thanks to the people who have always stuck by me because not many people have, and the ones who have are basically just my mum and maybe one or two others. The last one was where you had a cardboard tag and you had to write something that you find hard to cope with on it. I wrote anxiety & exams because those seem to be two of the biggest things in my life at the moment.

The last station was where there were a load of pictures and we had to say what we though each picture was representing. I'm not going to talk much about this one because it wasn't that interesting.

After that hour, I felt so much better for the rest of today and never felt a sense of paranoia and barely had any anxiety. I think the session helped open my eyes and the fact that other people had written things similar to me made me feel so much better that there are other people in my year experiencing the same things as me. It was also great because the whole thing was anonymous so no one knew who had written what. However, when I was writing things about my anxiety, I did have to hide it from my "friends" because I didn't want them to find out (not that they'd care anyway).

I would really recommend you trying something like this because this workshop was probably one of the best things I've done at school and it helped me get rid of everything about my anxiety that I've been keeping to myself for a very long time. Even if you don't get the chance to do something like this at school, you could maybe try it at home or maybe with friends. But honestly, it was a great help to me as I'm sure it will be to you.

If you have any questions about this or any other issues I've raised in my posts, please don't be afraid to DM me on twitter (@teenagelifebeth) or contact me by email (teenagelifebeth@gmail.com).

It would be a great help to me if you could comment below what you thought of this post or if you could give me any ideas for future posts.

Love Beth xx

Wednesday 28 October 2015

Paranoia

Hey everyone!

As most of you who are regular readers of my blog will know, I have been writing about how I have anxiety and what I go through each day because of it. I know one or two of you have commented on my posts or said stuff about it on twitter and you've all been so kind and I want to thank you for your support (sends virtual hug).

One thing that I get because of anxiety is paranoia. I constantly feel paranoid that someone is talking about me. That's why I always feel the need to stay in a room and be the last one to leave, or leave with everyone else, so that I know they're not talking about me.

Recently there was a school trip to France and Belgium which I didn't go on. However, the other night I was lying in bed, while they were on the trip, and got really paranoid that they would be talking about me. I don't know why that is as I'm a quiet person and I don't see why people would want to talk about me. However, I was convinced that they would all, or most of them (especially the girls), would be talking about me.

Today, for example, I went to the pub for lunch with my mum, brothers, nan and grandad. At one point my mum sent me to go with my grandad to go and get some drinks. I got really paranoid that my mum would start talking about me to my nan while I was gone. I was too scared to leave. But I still went to help my grandad anyway. I don't think she did talk about me.

I know I shouldn't get paranoid but I can't help it. If I ever hear my name, even though they could be talking about or to the person with the same name as me, or hear something that sounds like my name even though it isn't, I automatically jump to the conclusion that they're talking about me and I get so paranoid. Having paranoia and anxiety is affecting my dad-to-day life and it's not fair!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets paranoid from time to time (or in my case all the time) so please leave a comment below or mention/dm me on twitter (@teenagelifebeth) and tell me about how having anxiety or paranoia affects your life.

If you have any ways that help you control it please let me know as it would be a massive favour to me and I will be forever grateful to you as I'm starting to hate my life when my anxiety gets really bad as there's nothing I can do to control it.

That's it from me! Look out for Saturday's post for a Halloween special (don't know what it's going to be about but something Halloween based).

Thank you for reading and don't forget to comment below and also comment if there's any issues/topics that you want me to cover in my posts - I'm open for any suggestions.

Love Beth xx

Saturday 24 October 2015

Anxiety and Me

So a couple of weeks ago, those of you who read it will know I wrote a post about living with social anxiety. I shared with you what it's like to have to live with it and felt a whole lot better having shared it with you. Well today, I want to share with you what happened to me on Thursday. If you follow me on twitter, you might know what I'm getting at.

So on Thursday, my bus was 10 minutes late. When it eventually arrived, I was relieved that it meant I wouldn't be late to school and have to walk into class late. How wrong I was!

When the bus got into town, it decided to go to the other school first instead of mine. At this point I had about 5 minutes until school started. I knew I would be late because it takes about 10 minutes to get to the other school and then go to mine.

When we got to the bottom of the road that leads up to the other school, there was a long que of traffic because the road is very narrow and there were loads of other buses going to and from the school.

When we eventually got to the school I go to, it was 5 to 9, 10 minutes into lessons. So I had to go to reception to sign in and then go to class.

Only when I got to class, I couldn't walk in. Why? Because I started having an anxiety attack. And it was horrible.

I was stood outside my classroom with my heart racing (kind of like when you've just done a race). My stomach and chest felt like they were getting tighter and I was finding it slightly difficult to breathe. I was on the verge of crying and all the noises around me (teachers talking, people walking around downstairs) seemed to be louder than usual. I was leaning against the wall for 5 or 10 minutes, trying to get myself together.

The reason why I eventually walked into my class? Because I heard someone walking up the stairs towards me and I literally had to calm myself down and walk into class like nothing had happened. I kind of felt stupid afterwards because my teacher didn't really say anything about me being late like some teachers do.

However, it was kind of awkward because I heard some whispers around the room like 'why is she late?' and I just had to sit there and pretend nothing had happened, despite the fact my heart was still racing and at times I felt like I was going to cry.

Since then, I've been alright but anytime I walk past someone or they walk past me or if they're walking behind me, I always feel like they're talking about me. I know they're probably not but it's horrible and it's making my last year of school horrible. I would leave but there's no point.

Have any of you any experienced anything like this before? Share your experiences of anxiety or anything else that you want to share in the comments below because it really does help. Writing this now, I feel a whole lot better.

Remember, if you don't want to share it for everyone to see, you can always DM me privately on twitter (@teenagelifebeth) and I will help you in anyway I can.

Thank you for reading

Love Beth xx

Monday 19 October 2015

Feminism

Okay, so I know it's Monday and I normally post on Saturday's but something has been bought up today and yesterday that I felt that need to tell you all about. And that is feminism.

As a woman (well, teenage girl) I would say that yes, I am indeed a feminist. I'm sure, and in fact know, that there are many other women out there who are also feminists. What I don't get, however, is how a woman cannot be a feminist.

There's this girl in my year who posted on her snapchat story yesterday "feminism shouldn't be legal, fuck women' and the laughing emoji. WHY?!?!?!?!?

I think the problem with people against feminism is that they don't know the differences between feminism and extreme feminism. If you're one of those people who doesn't know the difference, I'm going to tell you now:

A FEMINIST is someone who supports women's rights on the ground of equality of men and women.

An EXTREME FEMINIST is someone who is sexist towards men and wants women to be better than men (so basically doesn't want equality between the two).

I hope those definitions make sense. If not, I'm really sorry. In my defence I am bad at explaining things.

Anyway, my point is that it's okay to be a feminist and I don't get why people are so against it. I don't know if it's because they don't know the difference between feminism and extreme feminism or if they're against feminism in general, but it's not a bad thing.

I know today's post has been really short, but remember I don't normally update on Monday's. My main blog post should be on Saturday so look after that.

If you want to have your say and share your views on feminism, please don't be afraid to leave a comment below. And if you want to ask me anything personally, please feel free to DM me on twitter ~ @teenagelifebeth

Love Beth xx

Saturday 17 October 2015

Let's Stand Up To Cancer

So, I know that this month is Cancer Awareness month, so I thought I'd write a little blog post which feature some stories from people who have had cancer.

The first story is Mike's. For as long as I can remember, Mike had been having problems with his leg. Him and his wife bought a house in Spain, as well as having one here in the UK. Mike was having to frequently fly over here from Spain for appointments or operations on his leg; sometimes meaning he couldn't fly back to Spain. For this reason, as well as many others I presume, they sold their house in Spain and moved back to the UK to live here permanently. After all the troubles with his leg, in October 2012 Mike was diagnosed with cancer. He had to make frequent hospital visits, which often resulted in him having to stay there for a few days, as well as having many operations. Towards the end of February 2013, he had been in hospital for a while. On the 26th February 2013, Mike rung up his wife, which went to voicemail, asking her when her and the kids were next going to visit him. That was the last time she would ever hear his voice over the phone. Sadly, with his wife and kids around him, on Thursday 28th February, Mike died, his wife discovering his voicemail he left her a few days later. She had this voicemail put on to a disc so that whenever she wanted to hear his voice, she could.

The next story is my own. I'm not sure how many of you are aware of this, but moles (as in the ones you get on your skin, not the animal) can in some cases cause skin cancer. I had one particular mole on my leg. It wasn't necesserily big, but it did start to change colour from brown to black. On a regular check-up with my GP when I was 7, I was told I would have to go to my local hospital to have a second opinion on the matter. The nurse there told me I would have to have an operation on my leg to remove the mole. Nobody at the time told me it was cancer. I guess it was because I was 7 and they didn't want to scare me. I guess I was scared enough about having the operation. On the day of the operation, I remember I had been given some numbing cream to put on my leg and was about to go into the room. I remember saying to my mum that I couldn't do it, that I didn't want to have the operation. I remember her saying to me that I could either have the operation and never (hopefully) have to go to hospital again; or not have the operation and have to go into hospital all the time. So I decided to have the operation. I was awake for the whole thing. It didn't hurt. The last time I went into hospital was to have my stitches taken out.

The last story is about Hazel. She was the school receptionist at my primary school. She is probably one of the nicest people to ever walk this earth. Towards the end of July 2013, Hazel went on holiday to Ireland. She fell down one step and managed to break her leg. As it seemed too easy for her to break her leg by falling down one step, she had to keep going into hospital for blood tests. I guess she had to keep going in mostly because during and after she had had her cast taken off, she kept on getting pains in her leg. I guess she realised something was wrong yet everytime she went into hospital, she was always turned away after a scan of test, saying there was nothing wrong with her. This went on until October 2013. It was then on Wednesday 23rd October, she got told she had cancer. Not only that, but that she had 3 days left to live; something that could have been prevented if they'd have found the cancer sooner. Then in her sleep on Saturday 26th October, she died.

I was lucky that I could have a simple operation and be done with it. But sadly for Mike, Hazel and thousands of other people who have suffered from cancer, it's not the same story. So donate to any cancer charity today as every single penny really does help. If you woke up tomorrow and got told that someone you know had cancer, you would want to do anything and everything you could to help them. Don't sit there thinking 'no one I know has cancer. Why should I help?' You should help because you could help save a life and help save another family from heart break. Hearing you have cancer and/or hearing a loved one has cancer is one of the worst things a person can hear. So let's all stand up to cancer together to help save thousands of lives.

I want my children, grandchildren and future generations to be able to live in a world where cancer doesn't exist. That it's a thing from the past. So please donate or find a way to raise some money so that thousands of us out there are able to beat cancer.

If you have any queries about anything I've said in today's post, please don't hesitate to contact me on twitter - @teenagelifebeth

Love Beth xx

Saturday 10 October 2015

Living with Social Anxiety

Today is World Mental Health Day 2015, so today I'm going to be writing a post concerning that issue: my deal with social anxiety.

What's really annoying is that pretty much everyone I come across just thinks I'm shy, which is why I don't talk as much as others. They fail to realise that I'm living with anxiety. Most of these things are overlooked by others because they don't know what living with anxiety is like. I'm not sure how many of you reading this also have anxiety or maybe another mental health illness, but whether you do or don't, please carry on reading as I'm hoping to open your eyes and make you realise that there could be someone who you know (friends, people you go to school with, work collegues, etc) trying to live a normal everyday life like you but feel like their mental illness gets in the way.

I pretend to be confident. I don't want people to think I have anxiety so when I'm with friends, I try and act like the person I want to be to hide my anxiety. I put on a smile to try and hide the fact that inside, I'm freaking the hell out.

They say that playing sport is supposed to help people become more confident. I guess that it sometimes helps me and whenever I'm playing it, my anxiety seems to slip away. But I don't feel I'm as confident as they say I could be on paper.

I hope I'm not the only one who can't ask people simple things; such as asking them to pass the glue. I'll sit there for 5, maybe 10 minutes trying to figure out how to ask them. Some days I just hope and pray that we can take our books home so I can glue in the sheets there; just to save me from asking someone to pass the glue.

If I said that to someone in school, they'd probably laugh at me and say I was being stupid. And I'd agree with them. Because most of the time it feels like I am. But writing this today makes me realise that I'm not stupid. It makes me realise that I'm living with a real-life mental illness and there's nothing that I can do about it to make it go away.

Some people hear the word 'illness' and just presume that you could go to the doctors and get some medicine or something to help cure it. But with mental illnesses you can't. I bet none of these people actually take time out of their day to research mental illnesses and read stories from people who live with them. Because they don't have to live with it. Because they don't know what it's like.

Sometimes my anxiety gets to the point where if my dad tells me that all my family are going to my gran's and that I need to go to, I try and make excuses to get out of it. I sometimes make the excuse that I'd rather to revision or homework than see my family. I reckon that there could be about 15-20 of us in one room (family) and I think that's the thing that freaks me out most. Sometimes I'm too scared to go to my gran's if it's just me and my brothers because I'm scared that some others will be there.

And that's just during the day. At night I often cry myself to sleep because of either something to do with my anxiety that day or if I know I've got to do a presentation the next or even just the fact that I feel like I can't be a normal teenager because I've got anxiety.

I wish I could tell people about my anxiety. Maybe then they'd be able to help me. Or maybe they'd laugh at me because I have anxiety and the fact that it's a mental illness that they probably know nothing about.

I hope that this post might have opened your eyes the slightest in what it's like for someone living with anxiety. Obviously, these are the smaller things I've had to deal with and there are some much bigger but I don't feel like the time is right to write about them. Maybe I will some other day.

If you, like me, also have anxiety or another mental health illness, please don't be afraid to comment below about how you have to deal about it.

Or if you have any worries, please don't be afraid to dm me on twitter @teenagelifebeth and I will try and help you in the best way possible.

Love, Beth xx

Saturday 26 September 2015

Relationships

Hey guys! So as you may have already guessed, today's post is about relationships.

Now, my relationships (if you could even call them that) haven't been very successful. I think that the longest relationship I've ever had lasted about 2 maybe 3 months. And I think that one was from year 7/8 so we probably never had a proper conversation face-to-face. Year 7 relationships were great weren't they *note the sarcasm*.

But anyway, if you've read/seen my latest tweet (@teenagelifebeth) you may know that yesterday was my nan and grandad's 50th wedding anniversary (golden).

Now, I could never imagine any relationship of mine lasting that long. They got married when they were 20 and 22 which is pretty young. That's basically saying in 5-7 years time, I'm going to be married (I'm not, btw).

But I don't see how they've made their marriage last this long. I didn't even know it was their 50th anniversary until a few weeks ago (best granddaughter ever me).

I guess the point of today's post is that every girl (if you're like me) dreams of meeting the one and staying together for the rest of your life. I'm yet to meet that person. Or maybe I have already met them? Maybe I go to school with that person and we'll meet again in 10 years time and spend the rest of our lives together. Who knows?

I mean, I saw a post somewhere online (the internet takes me to weird places) and someone was saying how they'd dated this guy when they were 15 (my age) and about 10 years later they bumped into each other and they're now married and have 2 kids with a third on the way. How awesome would that be? They hadn't even kept in contact with each other for all those years.

I also see girls posting on the internet how they're 16 and have never had a boyfriend or haven't had their first kiss or think they're gonna be alone forever. If you're one of those people, don't think you're alone in that cause you're not. And you may think those things but you will have a boyfriend, you will have your first kiss and you won't be alone forever. I'm still quite young and I've learnt from past experiences that you can be chasing the wrong guy when the right guy is behind you. You've just got to know where to look. Don't worry, you'll find him. You've just got to be patient.

I'm probably the last person to be giving out relationship advice but if you want to ask anything, feel free to comment below. If it's more personal, feel free to DM me on twitter @teenagelifebeth and I will reply.

Love Beth xx


Saturday 19 September 2015

Fake Friends vs Real Friends

So after being back at school for just over a week, I've decided that today's post should be about the differences between fake friends and real friends.

Unfortunately for us, it's often difficult for us to tell the difference between who are our fake friends and who are our real friends. Hopefully today's post should help you tell the difference between both of these.

I'm a very stupid person. In year 7, I started school with two of my best friends from primary. They were real friends.

By year 8, we'd all made a few other friends and we were all in one group together. But one or two of those friends made other friends and started to hang out with us AND them. I was also kind of friends with these other people. And instead of staying with my true friends, I slowly started to hang out with these other people, consequently leading to the loss of two of my real friends, leading to the loss of many others.

Now I'm in year 11, and have as good as lost those two real friends that I had in year 7 forever. Me and one of them pretty much haven't talked since the start of the year. Me and the other one are in the same form and the same PE class (core and GCSE) so we still talk, but only for the sake of it really. If we go to separate sixth form's/colleges next year, I can hardly see us staying friends.

I wish I'd stayed friends with the two of them now. It might have made my life a whole lot easier. But I guess we can never turn back the clock. And I guess this was all bound to happen anyway. My life may be at a low now, but I'm only hoping that's because I'm about to go up to a high. And who knows what that high may be? I certainly don't.

So here is 11 questions to think about:
Do they support all the choices you make?
Do they love your dorky personality?
Do they forgive you for anything?
Do they always have your back?
Do they let you explore your interests?
Do they know all of your little quirks?
Do they constantly keep in contact?
Can they keep your secrets?
Can you look gross when hanging out?
Do they make time for you?
Do they always give you a shoulder to cry on?

You really have to think hard about the answers to these questions. Here is the link if you want a little more information to help you answer these questions http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/11-differences-between-real-friends-and-fake-friends.html
If you answered yes to the majority/all of these questions then they are your real friends. If you answered no to the majority/ all of these questions then they are fake friends. I would say that if it's 50/50 then they're kind of your real friends but it's touch and go as to whether you'll stay friends for years to come.




If there are any topics that you want me to talk about in my posts, please comment below and I'll try my best to talk about them.

Please don't forget to follow my twitter @teenagelifebeth

Love Beth xx

Thursday 10 September 2015

Suicide

Looking through twitter today, it has come to my attention that today is World Suicide Prevention Day. So for this blog post, I'm going to be talking about suicide and how you can help to prevent it. I would recommend to you now that if you think this might trigger you to do something that you stop reading this now but I think that this might help some people with what they're going through.

Suicide isn't a laughing matter. There are many things that can cause a person to want to end it all; therefore resulting in suicide. They are in so much pain mentally (and sometimes physically) that they feel like they can no longer cope with what's going on around them.

A lot of people that commit suicide or have suicidal thoughts, have depression. These people tend to shut themselves out from the rest of the world and sometimes feel like there is no one there for them to talk to. A lot of people don't realise what these people are going through so don't really try to help that person with what they're going through. Others do know what that person is going through but don't know how they can help them.

Statistics show that in 2012, 21% of people in contact with the Samaritans (over 600,000 people) said they had suicidal feelings. Also in 2012, on average 4590 men committed suicide and 1391 women committed suicide; giving an overall total of 5981. Also, the lowest suicide age group for males in 2012 was 15-19 year olds and the highest was 40-44. The lowest for women was 15-19 year olds and the highest was 50-54 year olds. Over 20 years from 1992-2012, the year where the most men committed suicide was 1998 and the lowest year suicide rate was 2008. For women, the highest year was 1992 and the lowest was 2006.

I think what has surprised me the most by looking at these figures is that there are more men committing suicide than women. I guess this is because society today is convinced that women are the ones that self-harm and get depressed; resulting in suicide.

Being 15, I'm growing up in an ever-changing world, yet these problems still exist. I have seen a few suicidal posts on social media (mostly instagram) and it's just the fact that the majority of people like that post but don't bother to comment anything or offer them any kind of help. I don't know whether it's because these people don't know what to say that can help them or if they couldn't care less as it's not their problem.

I'm writing this post today to tell you all something. If you think that by ignoring a post or the actual person who has suicidal thoughts because it's not your problem that it's okay; it's not. You could help to save someones life just by commenting something or talking to them in person to make them see that their life is worth living.

People who feel the need to commit suicide could be experiencing hopelessness, helplessness, fear, bullying, loss of inspiration, lack of faith, feeling unloved/unlovable and/or depression. If you are going through any of these or know someone that is, this website http://www.harnessinghappiness.org/suicidalfeeling.aspx gives great advice to anyone going through any of these feelings.

But it's not just down to a website to talk someone out of suicide, it's also down to someone who genuinely cares for that person.

I have a friend who is depressed and on New Year's Eve last year, she was going to commit suicide. As it was the holidays and we were off school, I remember sitting there in fear, scared that I'd get a phone call or something telling me that she was dead. I remember thinking 'I wish I could help her'. And I did. Me and a few others managed to talk her out of it and she is still alive today. She is still a little depressed and obviously has her moments, but she's doing better than she was last year.

See what talking to someone can do to stop them committing suicide?

So I beg you that if you know someone who has suicidal thoughts, to talk them out of it. You could save a life. If it is you that is feeling suicidal and feels like you want to talk to someone that isn't anyone you know, my twitter is @teenagelifebeth. Please don't be afraid to contact me. I will try and help you in the best way that I can. I would hate for any of you to have to go through this.

Love Beth xx

Tuesday 1 September 2015

Loneliness

So, as you can guess from the title, today's post is about loneliness.

In my view, being lonely can mean a variety of things. It can go from an old person being on their own at Christmas, to a teenager feeling left out. That last one is me.

Whenever I'm with my 'friends', I have the tendency to feel left out most of the time. I guess it's always been this way. In primary I had five 'best friends' and I was the one that was always getting left out. If we had to work in pairs, they'd pair up together. If we had to work in groups of four, they would always go together. None of them were ever the ones being left out. It was always me. I should of known then that this would be the start of my loneliness.

Now I'm 15 and still feel lonely. I'm not really friends with the ones I was at primary. Two of them go to another school and the other two go to the same school as me. Both of them are best friends. I am friends with another group of people now.

And that group of 'friends' leave me out a lot as well.

On Saturday it was one of my friends birthday. She is a genuine friend. Me and five others went round to hers for a sleepover. I was excited as I haven't seen any of my 'friends' all summer. I thought we'd all be catching up. How wrong I was.

They all pretty much ignored me. Two of them hugged me when I first got there and we chatted a little bit but I was getting left out of the conversation quite a lot. It's the same every time. I don't know why I thought that night would be any different. I mean, they have all been hanging out all summer and leaving me out.

I'm pretty sure I got quieter as the night went on. I barely spoke. I know I'm naturally a quiet person, but I normally talk more than that. I guess that's why I get left out a lot. Because I'm quiet. But just because a person's quiet, doesn't mean that they should get/feel left out. Right?

The worst part of this is that I worry that this is how the rest of my life is going to end up. That I'm going to die a lonely, old woman. That I won't ever get married or have kids. That I will lose all my friends. That I'll be alone for the rest of my life.

Do any of you ever feel like this? That maybe you're not good enough for anyone? Comment below your experiences of feeling alone. Maybe I can help you become un-alone (don't think that's a word). Give you some advice. Maybe you could give me some advice? The only advice I can think of for myself is become less quiet and more loud. That's what I'm gonna try when I go back to school a week on Thursday. I don't know if it's going to work or not but I'll let you know in a few weeks.

Love Beth xx

Friday 28 August 2015

Girls and their many personalities

One of the problems about being a teenage girl is that we have different personalities for different situations. This applies for British people also (I'm from England btw) but most, if not all, teenage girls act differently given different situations. I recently saw a post on Facebook saying that every girl has five personalities and a list of those five personalities. So today, I am going to be writing about those personalities and how I act in these situations:

1. How she acts in school
Okay, so when I'm in school, I would say that I'm a quiet individual. In lessons, unless I'm sat with one of my friends or with people I feel comfortable talking to, I will rarely talk. And for some reason, when getting asked to answer a question by a teacher, my voice is very quiet and sometimes breaks slightly because of how quiet I'm being. 

2. How she acts around her friends
When I'm with my friends, I would say that I'm definately louder than when I'm in lessons. I talk a lot more and get a real confidence boost. I act slightly crazy, but I'm still the quietest, or one of the quietest, out of all my friends. Sometimes I might not want to talk so will go on my phone and will look through snapchats or will go on Instagram or Facebook. But most of the time, I act how I think is my normal personality.

3. How she acts around her family
When I'm with family, it does depend on who I'm with. If I'm with my mum, dad and bothers, I say whatever I want and do whatever I want to them because they know what I'm like. If I'm with my dads side of the family (gran, uncles, aunts and cousins), I tend to be very quiet. Almost like when I'm in school, except I'm a bit louder. When I'm with my mums side of the family, I tend to be a mix between how I act when I'm with my friends and how I act when I'm with my mum, dad and brothers. 

4. How she acts when she's with him
At the moment, I don't have a boyfriend so I'm going to write about how I acted with my previous boyfriend.
With my ex, it was all very funny and cute. I used to have to sit by him in science and we would constantly be talking and would sit very close to each other. Whenever I was with him, if I had my phone out and saw a post or picture that I thought he'd like I'd show him and I would tell him anything and everything. There was rarely a quiet moment between us and I felt like my life was a fanfic (he wasn't anyone famous but our relationship was basically like how people describe relationships in fanfics). I would go into more detail but I'm saving this for another post.

5. How she acts when she's alone
I have two personalities when I'm alone - the day one and the night one
Day one:
I tend to imagine funny situations and just laugh a lot to myself and then imagine something even funnier and laugh more. 
Night one:
I cry. I might've looked at a snapchat story and see some of my friends hanging out without me and I begin to wonder why I wasn't asked to hang out with them. I also tend to think about sad things such as a family member dying (my grandad died a few months ago) and I think about how I regret not seeing him in his final few weeks. But on the whole? I end up crying and 80% of the time, I cry myself to sleep.

So there we have it! Sorry to end on a depressing note but this is all five of my personalities. I can't help being who I am and no one can ever change that. Please leave comments below if you act like I do or if you act differently. Remember, I'm here for you all if any of you need me.

Love Beth xx